January 3, 2014
Five o’clock in the morning and I’m going to go workout. Yes I’ve found the strength to do it again. Twenty minutes with a four minute cool down in the treadmill, felt ok. I’m determined not to like anything stop me. I have to stay positive even though I know I will still have my tough days along with my very sad down days but so far I’m looking up to the skies and putting all my faith in God, to give me the strength to keep going.
Weather has been rainy, windy and very cold. The cold has been affecting me in a way I’m not sure if I know how to explain; just making me feel sick-like.
This morning after working out I lie in bed and a terrible pain came in my stomach and before I knew it a sharp pain hit me on my left side, my rib cafe area underneath my breast. It hurt so bad that I came to tears. Along with that my legs ache, and I feel as if I want to throw up, but I believe that may be from what I ate last night. Thank goodness for heat, because without it I would have no relief.
One thing that exercising has not helped is the “brain fog.” I’m not concentrating enough to the point I’m not hearing things correctly or clearly. It’s like I thinking I’m listening and hearing but I miss the whole thing, or what was said is not what I heard. I have to really concentrate. I should not multitask especially when I’m cooking. I forget so easier, because my attention be on something else.
One thing that had improved is my skin, it’s not dry and much smoother. I still can’t fall asleep when tired, I have to be extremely exhausted, yawning, water eyes, can’t keep my eyes open any longer for me to fall asleep.
5:30pm I lay in bed with weak body, when I walk I can barely hold myself up. I stumble to the point I thought I was about to fall down. My knees to my calves are aching and weak, I have no energy. Walking takes the breath out of me. It makes me want to cry to be so strong to now to feel so weak. Fatigue has set in and I can’t keep my eyes open.
“The Lord will do great things for me, and I will be filled with joy. I will sow in tears, then I will reap with songs of joy. If I go out weeping, Lord, carrying seed to sow, I will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with me (Ps. 126:3, 5-6).”
“Please help me be willing to sow the seed of Your Word and to water it with my tears, believing You in the midst of my pain. If I do, You will be faithful to fill me with joy again. You will faithfully bring a harvest forth from my life. My suffering will not be in vain. You, the God of all grace, who called me to Your eternal glory in Christ, will restore me and make me strong, firm, and steadfast after I have suffered a little while (1 Pet. 5:10).”