January 30, 2014
Everyday Challenge/ Testimony
Every single day is a challenge, really all my life has been a challenge. As a young girl I would lie in bed crying and asking Why God? Why am I here? I’ve been depressed all my life so that’s nothing new to me, just when you’re as young as I was no one would think a child could be depressed. But I tell you it’s possible because as a little girl I think I wanted to die, I just didn’t understand. I had to learn that if someone was tough towards you didn’t mean they didn’t love you. Guess I was very sensitive as a child. Many challenges indeed, I had to work with a speech specialist to learn how to talk clearly, I didn’t move my tongue when I spoke. But still I wasn’t getting heard, seemed as though every once else around me was so much louder. And slowly I grew into a gift and that gift was writing my emotions, thoughts, ideas everything. God gave me my voice through WORD. And today I have never been more close to Gods word as I am now.
If it was not for God I would not make it through a day, I would not be able to share with you all. Because I truly believe that without people praying for me and me praying for myself, evil would have taken over me long before now. And I tell you it’s been a very long, scary, painful ride fighting the devil off of me. There were times when I didn’t care, I wanted my life to end, living was not fun, it seemed pointless (had no meaning to me) and I felt like that since I was a child. I always looked around me, at everyone and just thought…I’m here because? I felt different and I felt alone. I wanted to be connected to my other half so badly, I needed my reflection, my king, I needed my Adam so I could be Eve. Friends were never important to me, I wanted a man and he should be my best friend, my everything. See growing up having a mental like mine, was a challenge, but when you throw in anxiety, depression, sickness, accidents, fibromyalgia, insomnia, chronic fatigue, PAIN…my challenges were like Hell.
But from 1984 to now I am here in 2014 and I tell my story. God gives me the strength to meet and beat any challenge put in my way. Why? Because I pray and ask for his help to do so.
Prayer: “Lord, I’m only human, and sometimes I am afraid. But You are always with me, and when I turn to You, You give me courage. Let me be a courageous, faith-filled Christian, God, and keep me mindful that, with You as my protector, I am secure today…and throughout eternity. Amen”
Don’t fear anything, know that God is with you at all times. He gives strength to me to go on always because he is with me. Have courage, don’t be afraid anymore but keep your eyes open. God helps you, but he doesn’t do it all, you must help yourself in order to receive help. Work without faith is nothing.