February 18, 2014
My Body, Soul and Spirit
My body is not much to me now, all it is; is walking pain. Pain that has cause me to slow down, which caused fat to settle because I crave all foods bad for me. My body is like carrying around a ton if bricks, everything on my shoulders. I look at my body and remember how it used to look back in the day, how it used to look last year because I worked out good. It wasn’t that much but I was able to go longer an harder, but I think the key to the weight loss was that I was stressed. Then I had happy moments where I didn’t need to eat, to moments where all I could do was sleep. Can’t eat while sleeping right? This year I started off good but have came to a stand still.
My spirit is wonderful, it’s caring, and loving. My spirit wants to do so much and help others, my spirit wants to be happy and without pain. In spirit I am strong and well, but my soul…
My soul is a whole other story, I’ve been putting in overtime trying to restore my soul. There is still parts of my soul which are dark; so very dark that it scares me at times. Evil still dwells in my thoughts, and beats me down to the point I start to believe I am nothing, I can do nothing, and this is it, the end. The one thing that makes my soul smile and shine bright is my soul-mate. Our souls connect and bond on an emotional level, he understands and feels my pain even though it’s not his. He always makes me feel like I’m this amazing woman no matter what. Had he speaks of me, I look in their for and I start to see what he sees. We are one alike, he excepts me for me. No matter what I what to talk about he wants to listen and hear. Always ready to give his opinion, and he is the only one brave enough to ask me what’s on my mind, an brave enough to listen. He allows me to pour out my soul and only one who had ever said. “I miss your voice.” See the problem is I don’t get to talk to him much, so my soul goes through withdraw and gets depressed. When my soul is sad, it’s lost and it’s hard to get it back.
I’ve given up on my body, renewed my spirit, but still my soul is under construction. (Building of a new heart; that has been Broken.)