March 5, 2014
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?
I’ve done things that goes against this so many times in my life. It never really bothered me, because one I was so depressed that I wanted to harm and destroy myself in any way, and two I had got to a point where I thought I had my weight under control. But in all reality my stress was the cause of keeping my weight down, I stayed busy by drinking [alcohol] and being sexual. I had no need for food that much and if not working or doing anything else, I was sleeping.
Now being married and about to hit that big three-zero, and having allowed fibromyalgia take over my life, I’m not had physical as I would like to be or should be. I want to be able to keep my mind-set on staying focus on getting in shape but the pain is always there, from doing nothing it’s there. Pain throbbing in my legs, ankles, arms, sides, or wherever and trying to ignore it is difficult. I can go for like a couple weeks strong everyday and then that time of the month comes around, it’s tough trying to get back on the horse so to speak.
This month here I go again trying again, if I just get up and march in place for at least over ten minutes straight is better than nothing. I want to do more and I always feel like I’m right at the edge, if I would just push myself that much more then I will wake up fat-free, toned and feeling more light on my feet. [only in my dreams].
I know Gods wants better for me, and The Lord is by my side at all times and I need to take care of this body he’s given me. No matter how weak my body is or becomes, my spirit is strong in faith. Everyday I have to start over and its my new beginning. I feel I have not gotten anywhere, I have to push myself that much more and some days I feel this pressure holding me down.
At the end of the day I can only pray God knows my heart and sees I am trying and knows I am learning from his test, I may fall short but I get back up and stay over every time.