March 21, 2014
Are you confident? Or do you just feel confident sometimes?
I don’t always feel confident, I lack it a lot. I’ve always allowed other people actions affect me, especially when it came to someone I love. Having a man do things that made me feel as if I wasn’t good enough, made me less confident for sure.
Also having anxiety issues affected me in a huge way. Even as a child at a sleep over of this girls birthday, I woke up in the middle of the night, freaked out and crying. I panicked and wanted to go home.
Then I was less confident about my weight, I wasn’t as small as the other girls, took a good awhile before boys really started to notice me. So with life itself plus now having some kind of pain every day, I am not confident at all. I feel I’m going to lose my husband, because of how I am, like maybe he doesn’t love me enough to deal with me. I have every negative thought you can think of in my head.
Fast forward too today though, I am much better than I used to be. I know who I am, and I love me, I accept how I am and if someone doesn’t agree, understand or like me, then it’s their lost. Because I’ve come to a point in my life that I’ve shut off a lot of people and I’m making sure to be closer to God.
We will have hard times, trials, and be frustrated but we have to not let worry and depression be part of it. Turning off something that has being running one way for so long, is hard to stop and turn it off. I’m doing my best to turn off my depression and turn it into impression; I want to impress myself. Most importantly I want God to be impressed and love me even more. [if possible] I’m learning to not have fear and worry and to really believe “I will be ok.”
“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]”
WE WILL BE ALRIGHT, IF IT BE OF GODS WILL.