June 6, 2014
Today my husband told me about a store hiring [Cato’s Fashion] and said that the lady really needed help.
Money has gotten tight and we are barely or not at all trying to make ends meet. So he wants me working now; I want to work again but in my past I failed at staying at a job and that had nothing to do with fibromyalgia, I had ever heard of that, but I suffered from anxiety and depression. Now with more to deal with I am fearful a bit, if someone else gives me a job and I turn around and end up quitting or my fibromyalgia becomes worst.
I just want a job that is worth my time, worth me fighting with this pain for. I been applying for jobs at a hospital but I’ve had no luck; so I will apply for the clothing store job, but if I don’t get it… So to say I’m giving up. And I have no idea what I’m going to do, I don’t want to feel like a user or [i totally just lost my train of lot; can’t remember what the word I was about to use.]
My husband has a full-time job and just got hired for a part-time job and what am I doing? At home trying to figure out what’s best for me to eat, find the strength to exercise, try not to go fucking crazy out of my mind. And doesn’t help this week is period week, so I’m emotional and want to cry about everything or be upset. [mood issues]