July 5, 2014
I’m very open and I tell so much; yet I still keep to myself.
I tell so much; yet there is so much they don’t know.
I speak in stories; so they become lost in it and can’t tell I’m really speaking of me.
The people I love can’t bear to hear the things I feel. They want to push me off on someone else, but I don’t enjoy talking to people who are trying to fix me; like there’s something wrong with me.
I’m such an open honest person, I feel like a fool amongst others.
They just don’t seem to get it; to understand that I have some deep rooted issues that won’t ever die.
Love me the way I am, or please just leave me alone.
My tree of life was planted very long ago and the roots are strong; while the limbs are starting to break off.
Some days no matter how much love surrounds me; I just want God to call me home.
Other days I feel I can take over the world and peace is in my soul.
Good and bad; bad and good, that’s everyday of my life. Moment to moment; hour to hour.
Pain causes me to feel all kinds of crazy.
I have so many fucking problems; yet people think I have it all together and that I’m just sitting back enjoying life to the fullest.
If they only knew; they have it so much better than me.
I’m not the only one; I’m just one person who’s willing to admit I know what’s wrong with me.
I’m tired of hiding and keeping it a secret; I am a genius in my own right.
Truth is; sometimes I think about if I had something everyone knew about, how would it be.
It would be crazy how people would act if they knew I was to die. But even though I have illnesses that won’t kill me, well I do have high blood pressure so that might. Anyways my point is; the most healthiest person could die today and no one expected it. So why not just believe me when I say it’s all real; what I feel.
Whoever said that fibromyalgia is not life threatening was wrong; because it is threatening my life every day all day. But I can’t put this all on the Fibro.
My entire life I’ve felt pain, anxiety and been depressed. So you know what is really threatening me? LIFE.