July 10, 2014
Days Are Tougher
You may take every day and push yourself and pretend that nothing is wrong and you will be okay. Especially around others, putting on that smile we all get to hide our pain.
But there are some days where you just can’t pretend anymore. For me today is that day, it’s becoming tougher and tougher for me each day. I think I blocked things out about my blood pressure and didn’t think much of it, because I know there’s nothing I can do right now to fix the problem.
I haven’t been feeling well these past weeks and after checking my BP, and seeing the high numbers; I am now freaking out. It’s like I knew but I wasn’t thinking about it, now I am. I’ve slowed down a lot and it’s to the point everything makes me tired.
Today I’ve been having this pain in my chest that comes and goes, it’s more of a sore feeling than hurting pain. But it’s very difficult to ignore, and seemed to jump around a bit. Also a lot muscle twitching today, along with aching and cramping of my joints; when over worked, to cold or in a certain position.
Along with trembling, I am fatigued, and I want to sleep/rest as much and as often as I can. I really don’t want to risk anything, with my blood pressure being so high and my heart as well.
When I put my head to my pillow I can hear the beat of my heart.
“You can have high blood pressure (hypertension) for years without any symptoms. Even without symptoms, damage to blood vessels and your heart continues and can be detected. Uncontrolled high blood pressure increases your risk of serious health problems, including heart attack and stroke.” If you have the resources please make sure to see a doctor as much as you can and as soon as you can.
I’ve had a lot of family members die from heart related issues, so it’s very scary that I don’t know my fate. I am trying to be as strong as I can, but I still cry. [cant help it]