We are WildFlowers

How Am I Still Standing

July 9, 2014

How Am I Still Walking Around

I am feeling so tired and out if energy, walking too long makes me ache and standing up for too long makes my ankles and legs hurt. Feet cramping and bottom of them sore. I am falling apart slowly every day.

Today I want to speak about my high blood pressure, it’s very high. And I know I should have been rushing to the ER but I been here before, my husband said if it had of been in the two hundreds he would been taking me to the hospital.

Was walking around the store and stopped at one of those machines in the pharmacy area, I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be could but didn’t no what to expect. The numbers were 158/113 Poor. Also stated the health risks I could have. My heart rate was 116, how has it not popped out my chest.

It’s tough not to think about how at risk my life is, I’m lucky to be breathing, or even waking up out if my sleep.

I hope when open enrollment comes back around, I get added to insurance, and find a doctor that it will help make me better and not worse.

I don’t know why I’m still here; but I am and I am trying to hold on and do what I can. I sometimes fear for my life, not knowing how long I really have. My anxiety is through the roof as well and I just want every one I love to know how much I love them, because life is unpredictable.

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