August 12, 2014
After walking two miles yesterday, I had plan to do nothing, but my mom asked me to go with her, which I though you be one place. Of course it turned into maybe about four or five places, so yep more walking. I had only ate a salad before leaving the house and one glass of water, which was ok. But after being out for so long I began to get weak and not able to think or focus clearly. My body was slowly shutting down, ok maybe that’s dramatic but it was aching more and more, and of course it began to rain as well while we were out.
Back at home, still I was able to rest, had to fix myself something to eat, along with having to do what my mother asked of me, because her feet was hurting. So it’s only right for me to just ignore my pain and be a good daughter.
When I finally got in bed, I couldn’t fall asleep and before I knew it I was still up at 7am. The sad part is I can’t remember when I did sleep, if any, if I did it wasn’t for very long.
So now it’s 2:54pm and I’m just lying in bed and my legs are aching so badly, among other things like my joints.
I kind of want to cry, but not sure way. It seems like I can’t do “exercise” and do other things in the day as well, without ending up like I feel today. I walked two miles around the neighborhood yesterday and it was just my normal walking, nice easy pace, plus walking/standing around in stores yesterday, along with just walking and standing up at home. If my legs ache and hurt this bad, how can I possibly be able to maintain working doing it at some job?
I feel like a failure at times…
All I have is my opinions; which for me are wisdom, but are worth nothing; yet priceless to the one willing to listen.
If God didn’t place the people in my life; near and far that love and care for me, I wouldn’t be here today.
I am unique, and I am not money driven; which makes it difficult for someone like me to survive on my own. I want to be free, I want to love, I want to not feel like I’m suffocating.
My mind and body have created its own prison and I have a life sentence.