365 Days of Fibromyalgia

I Have To Laugh

August 22, 2014

Today I woke up somewhat unsure, but was sure I needed to go for a walk. Sometimes I get bored of taking a walk for exercise, I don’t seem to get much out of it all the time. Yet there are moments where I get a feeling and my body tells me to take a walk. Today was one of those days, I just wanted to zone out a bit and walk.
With a cup of fruit in hand, I ate an listened to some music as I walked. It started off so easy as well, I thought to myself this is a breeze today. Soon my ankles, mostly my left began aching, along with a burning within my legs but I kept going. By this time it didn’t matter if I kept going or turned around, the distance would be the same.
The sun was beaming and I was sweating. Got back to the house, I did a little stretch to my legs on the steps before walking up. Inside felt so good and cool, I quickly needed to hop in the shower because I was sweaty. I was tired but ok, until I was drying off and felt as if my body was shutting down or something. The weirdest feeling happen, began hard to breathe and body felt so weak. As I reached for the door knob I felt dizzy. Trying not to faint or anything, lucky I didn’t have far to walk to get to the bedroom. I called out for my husband as I hit the bed. I notice my right hand shaking, my husband held it as I tried to calm down. I so wanted to cry but held back my tears. My head had sore spots and a sharp pain on the left side of my face. I just lied there breathing and closed my eyes.
I could have freaked out but I’ve learned that just makes me feel worse. Soon before I knew it I was smiling a bit again. Even though in the back of my mind I held the thought of my pain that I was still feeling, I was able to let it go and not ruin the rest of my day.
I’ve been smiling, laughing, talking and I’m alright. I’m choosing more often now to be happy, by thinking about the things and people I’m thankful and grateful for. I am happy because I have people who love and care about me. I laugh at the things I see, at situations and laugh just to feel free.
At the end of the day I smile because I AM ME.

I laugh at myself a lot, especially when I’m alone.

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