Five in the morning and I’m still woke, when I so desperately want to be sleep. My right eye is sore, something I did when I touched/rubbed my eye or something, I think I pinched my eyelid I do know it hurts now. Both eyes are heavy, I’m yawning and feel a massive headache by arrive at some point. I’m slowly, very slowly falling asleep and when I do it’s going to be restful/good sleep or weird dreams sleep.
At not quite eleven my eye still bothering me and I woke up coughing up a storm, and feeling like I’m going to gag up a lung from this feeling in the pit of my throat.
The big question is do I get up now or wait? I have no reason to get up now and I always need the rest. And I could possibly feel better. The more restful sleep I get, the better I feel and look.
Well I didn’t fall back to sleep, I was oftener breakfast and it’s not everyday that someone cooks for me so I gladly got up to eat. So since I’m up, I’m up.
Twelve in the afternoon, time to start my day. On a normal day, ok everyday my mind is all over the place. I go from thoughts wondering, to me writing down my wondering thoughts, actually working on writing my book, to knitting or crocheting, to watching tv, to playing games on phone or tablet, all while cleaning house such as washing dishes or clothes, sweeping or dusting etc… Now by this time I may be ready I get back in bed, which I just may to rest while I wait for my husband to get home. Because then cooking time approaches, and with rest in between these moments of my day I won’t be any good.
At any point I feel as a woman I can do it all, but my body and mind don’t always agree.
First thing on my list I day is to do my hair and that will take all the energy I have, I think I will end up back sleep soon. Plus I’m feeling fries right now.
So while doing my hair I notice that looks like my eye is swollen a bit maybe I have a bump on my lid, that’s why it was sore. Now I’m back in bed because standing up trying to do my hair, my legs and feet are aching and weak now.
Living with any kind of chronic illness is like living in a roller coaster, because it’s so up and down all the time. Not knowing how long you’re going to be up and when you go down, it’s over.
Sleep helps but it’s an endless cycle.
We get done what we have to, we push ourselves when we need to and most over work our bodies because people make us feel guilty like we don’t do anything and what we do, do is not enough.