We are WildFlowers


I’m tired of celebrating everything, I know that may sound kind I harsh but I am. 
Can’t people find another way to celebrate than eating every time they get together. And it’s not healthy food, and you’re lucky if you have a salad. But really who’s looking at a boring salad when you have lots of other “good” but bad food for you just calling your name. And it’s like you don’t even think, well I don’t, it’s like disrespect if you don’t get any of it. Have to eat, if not you’re the only one. 
Im tired I getting up putting clothes on. Now I will get covered up, in a big T-shirt and sweat pants, a summer dress, 
house coat(old school), anything but jeans, a dress trying to look good and what not. Oh and top number one thing I’m tried of putting on a bra. I want to relax, and really being at home isn’t completely relaxing because I have to clean and do things for people. 

At times I think that maybe if I just keep pushing myself and fall out, or my body stiffens up to the point I can’t move, or my entire body cramps/spasms, then and only then it will show and prove to these people why I pick and choose my events carefully and can’t go to everything. 

Last week was important, my cousin graduation party, and the next day was Mother’s Day, so left to go to my aunt house, along with my other aunt and my mother and their mother(my grandmother) so how could I miss that. 
The rest of the month I seriously need to do nothing, but that’s a dream. 
One night last week my started having spasms in my right breast, cramping so badly, it was sharp pain. Last night it happened on the left side, but this time it was underneath my breast, kind of on rib cage, stabbing pain and it hurt too be or breathe. 

I had been doing better but things are slowly becoming back worst for me. From my eating habits, not enough water, not enough rest or sleep. My body is sweating all the time, cramping and aching, and no energy. I really need to find the strength to get back on the right track.
No more celebrating for me until next month for my niece graduation.


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