June 30, 2015
4:32 in the morning and I’m still woke. If I’m lucky by 5am I will be sleep. I lie here feeling my body beginning to stiffen up in my legs and feet.
Every time I’m comfortable I have to get up and pee. My mouth has been dry and I’ve felt dehydrated lately so been trying to drink more water. On top of that I’m drinking water to fill up instead of eating more.
I’M SO FRUSTRATED WITH MY BODY!
I get to sleep and then I have to wake bak up because my husband asks me to set my alarm on my phone to wake him up, and I guess it doesn’t matter much because if his phone went off it would still wake me up. I lay here trying to keep my sleep until he leaves but it’s not until he’s gone I go into deep sleep. (Not always but when I can; I do) this routine of walking him up in the morning happens about five days out the week, and when he’s off work, I’m all screwed up.
On average I wake up after 12 in the afternoon, sometimes before if my body won’t let me lay down or sleep any longer. So today it’s around 12:30pm and upon waking I feel like something’s wrong with my throat and it’s a suffocating feeling and it’s hard to swollen. For the most part this is an every day situation. I feel it after sleeping a bit and the first time I get up to go to the bathroom but I don’t worry about it much if I go back to sleep. And what do I do about it? Drink something g warm, and my choice is coffee. I’ve brought some non-decaf because the decaf pissed me off. I know I shouldn’t be drinking caffeine as all the research says but it’s one thing that makes me happy for a short moment. When it’s all gone I will take a break from it though.
And I feel like confessing even though I should keep this to myself cause it’s very personal but I don’t care… Now I can get up right now and start my day but, it’s though to get going. When I can I have to always do something that helps me get my blood flowing and get me up out of bed. This may come to a shock to the Fibro-world but we are all different and handle our pain differently. I masturbate, it wakes me up fully and makes me have to pee so I get up quicker. Even though sometimes I have to be careful because my muscles do tighten up a bit if the orgasm is too strong. Now I really don’t have as much interest in having
It also helps put me to sleep as well but I don’t think of doing that at night because I’m too tired. These are some reasons I do it, I may have fibromyalgia but I’m still human. The pain isn’t new to me (well some of it) but the not wanting to have sex part is new to me. I’m 30 years old and I never thought there would be a day when I wouldn’t want to be touched, held, and poked.
•reduce stress release sexual tension •relieve menstrual cramps and •muscle tension strengthen muscle tone in the pelvic and anal areas, reducing women’s chances of involuntary urine leakage and uterine prolapse – See more at: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sexuality/masturbation#sthash.QtN94uaf.dpuf