We are WildFlowers

When I Wake

I’ve had moments of it being easy to rise but for the most part my mornings are usually the same, full of pain. 

It’s hard to pull myself up, once I’m up, I never know how difficult walking will be until I try to take that first step. Body feels heavy and if my ankles and feet ache or are stiff it hurts. I make it to the bathroom and it hurts to try to sit up straight on the toilet because my body is so stiff. 
Depending on how bad it is I may walk around the kitchen, in the living room to loosen up. As I walk my joints pop; with every pop, it’s a sigh of relief but also a sigh of sadness because I feel as if I’m learning to walk again. I feel like I’m about to fall over. 
With this slow, achy, stiff walk I do that for awhile before heading back to bed. Which it can even hurt getting into bed just as much as it was getting out.
Usually no one sees me do this. 

Sometimes I may just move around a bit in the bedroom, pace back and forth maybe to loosen up. 

Everyday I want to break down and cry, because I know I should be doing more. I’m just playing the cards I’ve been dealt. Apparently I’m not too good at this game, but I sure have a poker face because everyone seems to believe I am really okay.?  


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