We are WildFlowers

The Root 


So many people become sick and once they have been diagnosed, they feel as if they are on the right path of knowing what is wrong. Some think that it’s the last stage of knowing, like ok this is it, but that is farthest from the truth. Now you have to find the root, meaning why did you get what you were diagnosed with? 

I feel that most doctors are quick to throw prescription drugs at people and give them false hope of living a “normal” life. Even if doctors request you change your diet and exercise they still recommend taking a prescription, which leads to taking more things or for some, side effects. I get that we need help and prescription drugs are said to be “safe” if taking the right dosage but I have some issues with taking drugs. 

1.) Not being able to just stop the drug, you have to be taken off of it slowly, this is what is told. That if you just quit taking it, that could cause serious side effects. 

2.) side effects, which no one needs. At times you are given another drug for the side effects. 

3.) dependence, becoming depended on whatever drug and feeling sick if you don’t have it. 

4.) What if it stops working. Then you have to be put on something new in hopes it will work as good. 

5.) Solution, feels like a never ending cycle. 

The point I’m trying to make is, shouldn’t you be able to live a drug-free life. Why is it that the right solution is always taking some kind of drug. I know it is a debatable issue and I am not knocking that drugs help some people. 

My opinion is mostly based on watching someone close to me go through the stages of finding what works. My entirely life I’ve watched my mom go through the struggles of major depression and her having the prescribed drugs from her doctor that she used to overdose on attempting to commit suicide. I won’t get into how damaging that was for me to watch and thinking I would lose my mom forever. Years later, her still going to a therapist and psychologist and it’s still the same. The scary part about it all is that without the drugs she gives up, without the drugs it’s like an addict going cold-turkey. She doesn’t want to have to take all the medicine but she truly believes if she stops, that is it, she won’t be able to make it. Even with the drugs she still has very down days and worries, still has suicidal thoughts but maybe not as much. 

Everyone is different and I understand that people cope in ways that they can to be able to function and make it day to day. 

The sad truth is that we can’t even depend on being truly healthy by eating fruits and vegetables. Our food being sprayed with chemicals and so forth. We can’t trust anything theses days, even our drinking water. No matter what we do we are programmed to be damaged. 

We have products being made to be a solution to all that. Stating that they are natural and that is what we gravitate towards and we invest all our money into it and there are many testimonies about how they all work and help fix problems. Still I see it as being depended on something. 

People have to work towards being able to live there life without the help of something extra. 

Think about the steps of how a garden grows. The dirt, the seeds, and you allow nature to take it course with sunlight and rain. You don’t have to do anything special but tend to it. It will grow without any chemicals, so shouldn’t your body be able to do the same? 

Everyone isn’t able to grow there on fruits and vegetables but knowing that maybe at a farmers market you can trust they don’t use any chemicals to grow. If you eat fresh fruits and vegetables, get you some sunshine and drink clean water, shouldn’t it be that easy? Why isn’t it? 

What is the root of the problem? 

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Life Changer 

Today I read a message that was sent to me and it like many others I’ve received. It’s full of hope about being “cured” about making life better, having a life without pain. The funny thing is I’m not in pain right now as I’m writing this but like any other day that could change at any moment. I wanted to share the message with you all and share my response. I hope I do not offend the person who sent me the message but I dislike people who send me messages of wanting to talk to me about something that will fix me, as if I’m broken. Well they stated that it’s something that will give me my life back. The one problem with that is unlike others, this is the only life I’ve known. It hasn’t been any better or any worst. It just is what it is. Everyone with or without a chronic illness will have good and bad days, they will also want to vent or complain a bit. My life is what it is and even with chronic pain I don’t know what I would be doing differently. My pain isn’t what has stopped me, many other factors in my life have kept me from succeeding. I was on a downward spiral on an never ending roller-coaster and fibromyalgia forced me to stop and examine my life and realize I had many habits that needed to stop. My pain is a wake up call, a reminder of I’m still not the person I should be. 

If mentally I’m the same person and I spend money to buy any and everything that could make me feel better, for how long will it work? Won’t I become depended on it? What happens if I can’t get it anymore? 

I may not always be smiling and hopeful for my down days don’t last as long as they used too. Mentally I’m much stronger now than I’ve ever been. My body is forcing me to make changes but I want to be able to find a way that doesn’t have me buying some special kind of product regardless if it’s “healthy” or “natural” I have a long way to go. Financially I want to start with the basics such as the food I eat, getting enough sleep and being as active as I can. Until I’m able to get those things under control I’m not wasting money. I need free solutions for my life. I know many will argue that it’s worth it but I don’t agree. I want to just be able to buy fresh vegetables or grow my own and eat without worrying that it’s going to make me sick. I want to be able to have a drug-free life. I made it to age 33 I think I can make it many more years. (Just how I feel about my life) 

Message Sent:  “HI Melissa, How are you going? I kind of feel like that is a silly question as I just read your current blog (from the 10th). I wanted to connect as I have a large circle of people around me with Fibromyalgia and we have found something that has given them their lives back. Sounds crazy and impossible, I know! They all think the same things 😂 If you would like to connect, and learn more, please feel free to get in contact with me. I would love to skype/face time and find out more about you. Take care.”

My response: Hi, financially I can not buy anything to try in hopes it will magically make me feel better. The difference from me and others is, other people had a life they loved before fibromyalgia and have a point that they wish to get back to. Since I was young I’ve lived with anxiety and depression and the fibromyalgia came later, which I feel I maybe always had. I don’t have a life to get back. I just have the life that I live. I’m still here and still going, I don’t look at my pain as a life stopper, I feel it’s been a life changer for the better. It sucks and it is very painful at times but I don’t like being told that there is some fix all product. If there is why be so secret about it. Give me something to post and let everyone know about this wonderful thing that will give them there lives back. Thank you take care. 

Need My Sunglasses 🕶 

I was going to check the mailbox, I open the door and as I stood in front of the screen door the small amount of natural sunlight hit me. I hadn’t even stepped foot on the porch yet and I felt I was being electric ⚡️ shocked. It hurt so sharp across my forehead, around my eyes. This feeling was different, I hadn’t felt this pain before. Going outside with the sun shining has been difficult but I was able to just squint my eyes and bare it. Eventually my eyes adjust. Today though I was caused pain that I couldn’t endure and squinting my eyes didn’t matter. Matter of fact I didn’t even squint my eyes, I closed them and had to turn away from the door.  

It affected me. I quickly told my husband and said, “I need my sunglasses, I need my sunglasses.” 


I have no idea if it was a migraine issue or not because no other light had caused that pain all day, it wasn’t until I was looking out the glass of the door when I felt the pain. 

I put on my sunglasses and walked outside. The sunglasses helped right away and the pain eased off. It was difficult for me to get pass the pain I had felt though. When I feel a new pain it always makes me sad because I don’t want to add to the list, I want to eliminate it. 
Another day living with my invisible illness. 

Fight the Excuses 

Monday I started a new exercise routine that I felt would be easy enough for me to do and I could keep it up. Tuesday came and I was very sore, to the point I was walking like tin-man. I decided I would rest one day then get back to the next and keep this pattern going. 

All day Tuesday I was sore and felt like this was going to be a total failure again. While in bed sleep thinking about Wednesday, I was creating excuses in my head. All night through early morning, as I get in and out of bed to use the bathroom, I’m so sore and I just know I won’t be able to do any kind of workout. 

I’m thinking that just getting up out of bed is good enough. Walking around to get stuff done is good enough. I want to lie in bed and let my body not be sore anymore. Truth is though my body might never not be sore, I would be waiting forever. 

That point came when I was ready to get up and I made me some ice coffee, took some vitamins and I seemed to be walking a little easier, I was still feeling sore but I felt I could definitely move around. 

I put my sneakers on and played some music and got started. I did my exercise and I’m proud of myself for not giving in to my excuses. 

Extra Weight 

I don’t know if I’m the only one who has put on extra pounds since the symptoms of fibromyalgia kicked in. Over the past years I’ve tried, done my best to keep a workout routine and I always end up finding reasons to stop, other than the pain. I get really bored and of course not having someone to workout with, but not having someone with the same energy, attitude, and of course someone that I really like. 

To other people I may not look any different and I’ve never been a skinny or slim person but I see and feel the difference. It was not just the number on the scale that bothered me. Recently my knees have been bothering me to the point I sometimes feel they will give out on me. It started with my left, and sometimes it’s my right knee. The ache or pain catches me off guard and I have to catch myself as if my leg is giving out. My breathing has gotten heavier and I give out of breath easier. If that wasn’t enough. One morning I wake up and I see my stomach, I notice streach marks on my stomach! I have not had any babies so I should not have streach marks on my stomach. I knew I had gained weight but not to that point. At this point I’m telling myself the same thing I’ve always told myself, you have to do something about this. Having depression and anxiety both make it difficult to find motivation to do anything. Clothes have gotten tighter, everything is uncomfortable and I refuse to go up a size. I will get back to where I was and hopefully go down a size. 

Okay I’m rambling on, I’ll get to the point of this post. I came across this video on YouTube and the guy doing the video was a little comical which caught my attention, but also the fact it seemed easy enough. I told myself I would try it. 

When I woke this morning feeling like doing nothing. Throat seemed swollen and sore. I’m trying not to gag. I had my cup of coffee then endured brushing my teeth without gagging up a lung. Afterwards, I don’t know what came over me. I made the choice in my head that I was going to try this workout. So I did. 

Ok everyone I had the slowest moment in history, dumbest mistake. I get started with the workout. I open the clock app on my phone and set timer for 30 seconds but I do not look at the other columns and hit the start button and I begin to walk as fast as I can back and forth. I’m thinking to myself this is the longest 30 seconds ever, it shouldn’t be taking this long. I keep going and going. Finally the alarm sounds and I look down and I see why it took so long. It was set to 15 minutes and 30 seconds. I couldn’t believe I had did this to myself. My mind could not register that I needed to stop because it was wrong. I had a second or two when I knew something wasn’t right but my mind could not figure out why. That makes me sad and I feel like I’m losing the function to comprehend but on the positive side of things, I got a nice workout. I finished up the right way. I was to do the quick workout  four times but since I had added that 15 minutes to it, I figured I would say I had done enough for now. 


https://youtu.be/Zsr3LDkbM0M (here’s the link to the video) 

Find Your Comfort 

Always remember that Jesus himself went through pain. He had been where you are and been through more pain than you could endure, ten times over. You Your never alone in this journey. I know it’s not easy and you want to give up but you must keep going. As long as you are waken up or maybe you never went to sleep, as long as you still have breath inside you; you must keep going. Your pain is not the end, your pain is an eye opener. 


Like Paul some of us are reminded every day that we are in constant pain and some of us can find the positive outlook on it, while others see it has a curse/touture. 


Mentally you must be strong, even when your body is weak, fore when the body is weak so can it trigger negative thoughts that cause you to fall right into all the discomforts in life. 

You must Find Your Comfort in the pain. Don’t just live with it and accept it, you must continue to find the root of it all. Is your pain as is the thorn in Paul? Are you accepting it to better yourself? Or have you accepted that your life was meant to be full of pain? 

Better yourself, your life, the smallest to the largest of things that need working on. This is the time to face truths that you’ve been lying to yourself about for years. What is God trying to change about you? Or in you/your life? 

Find Your Comfort… if it’s in your pajamas, then you proudly wear them and don’t feel guilty or worry about what others think. You have to think of yourself now. You are the one enduring the pain, not them. True friends and family that truly love you, will be right by your side and won’t judge you. Anyone who looks down on you, is not for you. Keep people around that allow you to feel peace, happiness and tranquility. 

Most importantly have people around you that motivate you to be a better you. Remember that you won’t see a difference unless you try. The pain may be there always, so if you’re going to hurt anyways, you might as well do what you enjoy. At least then you have a reason to why you’re in pain. Find Your Comfort. 




Pounding Heart

https://anxietyallthetime.wordpress.com/2017/06/03/pounding-heart/

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