365 Days of Fibromyalgia

Posts tagged ‘365 Days of Fibromyalgia’

Need My Sunglasses 🕶 

I was going to check the mailbox, I open the door and as I stood in front of the screen door the small amount of natural sunlight hit me. I hadn’t even stepped foot on the porch yet and I felt I was being electric ⚡️ shocked. It hurt so sharp across my forehead, around my eyes. This feeling was different, I hadn’t felt this pain before. Going outside with the sun shining has been difficult but I was able to just squint my eyes and bare it. Eventually my eyes adjust. Today though I was caused pain that I couldn’t endure and squinting my eyes didn’t matter. Matter of fact I didn’t even squint my eyes, I closed them and had to turn away from the door.  

It affected me. I quickly told my husband and said, “I need my sunglasses, I need my sunglasses.” 


I have no idea if it was a migraine issue or not because no other light had caused that pain all day, it wasn’t until I was looking out the glass of the door when I felt the pain. 

I put on my sunglasses and walked outside. The sunglasses helped right away and the pain eased off. It was difficult for me to get pass the pain I had felt though. When I feel a new pain it always makes me sad because I don’t want to add to the list, I want to eliminate it. 
Another day living with my invisible illness. 

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Fight the Excuses 

Monday I started a new exercise routine that I felt would be easy enough for me to do and I could keep it up. Tuesday came and I was very sore, to the point I was walking like tin-man. I decided I would rest one day then get back to the next and keep this pattern going. 

All day Tuesday I was sore and felt like this was going to be a total failure again. While in bed sleep thinking about Wednesday, I was creating excuses in my head. All night through early morning, as I get in and out of bed to use the bathroom, I’m so sore and I just know I won’t be able to do any kind of workout. 

I’m thinking that just getting up out of bed is good enough. Walking around to get stuff done is good enough. I want to lie in bed and let my body not be sore anymore. Truth is though my body might never not be sore, I would be waiting forever. 

That point came when I was ready to get up and I made me some ice coffee, took some vitamins and I seemed to be walking a little easier, I was still feeling sore but I felt I could definitely move around. 

I put my sneakers on and played some music and got started. I did my exercise and I’m proud of myself for not giving in to my excuses. 

Extra Weight 

I don’t know if I’m the only one who has put on extra pounds since the symptoms of fibromyalgia kicked in. Over the past years I’ve tried, done my best to keep a workout routine and I always end up finding reasons to stop, other than the pain. I get really bored and of course not having someone to workout with, but not having someone with the same energy, attitude, and of course someone that I really like. 

To other people I may not look any different and I’ve never been a skinny or slim person but I see and feel the difference. It was not just the number on the scale that bothered me. Recently my knees have been bothering me to the point I sometimes feel they will give out on me. It started with my left, and sometimes it’s my right knee. The ache or pain catches me off guard and I have to catch myself as if my leg is giving out. My breathing has gotten heavier and I give out of breath easier. If that wasn’t enough. One morning I wake up and I see my stomach, I notice streach marks on my stomach! I have not had any babies so I should not have streach marks on my stomach. I knew I had gained weight but not to that point. At this point I’m telling myself the same thing I’ve always told myself, you have to do something about this. Having depression and anxiety both make it difficult to find motivation to do anything. Clothes have gotten tighter, everything is uncomfortable and I refuse to go up a size. I will get back to where I was and hopefully go down a size. 

Okay I’m rambling on, I’ll get to the point of this post. I came across this video on YouTube and the guy doing the video was a little comical which caught my attention, but also the fact it seemed easy enough. I told myself I would try it. 

When I woke this morning feeling like doing nothing. Throat seemed swollen and sore. I’m trying not to gag. I had my cup of coffee then endured brushing my teeth without gagging up a lung. Afterwards, I don’t know what came over me. I made the choice in my head that I was going to try this workout. So I did. 

Ok everyone I had the slowest moment in history, dumbest mistake. I get started with the workout. I open the clock app on my phone and set timer for 30 seconds but I do not look at the other columns and hit the start button and I begin to walk as fast as I can back and forth. I’m thinking to myself this is the longest 30 seconds ever, it shouldn’t be taking this long. I keep going and going. Finally the alarm sounds and I look down and I see why it took so long. It was set to 15 minutes and 30 seconds. I couldn’t believe I had did this to myself. My mind could not register that I needed to stop because it was wrong. I had a second or two when I knew something wasn’t right but my mind could not figure out why. That makes me sad and I feel like I’m losing the function to comprehend but on the positive side of things, I got a nice workout. I finished up the right way. I was to do the quick workout  four times but since I had added that 15 minutes to it, I figured I would say I had done enough for now. 


https://youtu.be/Zsr3LDkbM0M (here’s the link to the video) 

Find Your Comfort 

Always remember that Jesus himself went through pain. He had been where you are and been through more pain than you could endure, ten times over. You Your never alone in this journey. I know it’s not easy and you want to give up but you must keep going. As long as you are waken up or maybe you never went to sleep, as long as you still have breath inside you; you must keep going. Your pain is not the end, your pain is an eye opener. 


Like Paul some of us are reminded every day that we are in constant pain and some of us can find the positive outlook on it, while others see it has a curse/touture. 


Mentally you must be strong, even when your body is weak, fore when the body is weak so can it trigger negative thoughts that cause you to fall right into all the discomforts in life. 

You must Find Your Comfort in the pain. Don’t just live with it and accept it, you must continue to find the root of it all. Is your pain as is the thorn in Paul? Are you accepting it to better yourself? Or have you accepted that your life was meant to be full of pain? 

Better yourself, your life, the smallest to the largest of things that need working on. This is the time to face truths that you’ve been lying to yourself about for years. What is God trying to change about you? Or in you/your life? 

Find Your Comfort… if it’s in your pajamas, then you proudly wear them and don’t feel guilty or worry about what others think. You have to think of yourself now. You are the one enduring the pain, not them. True friends and family that truly love you, will be right by your side and won’t judge you. Anyone who looks down on you, is not for you. Keep people around that allow you to feel peace, happiness and tranquility. 

Most importantly have people around you that motivate you to be a better you. Remember that you won’t see a difference unless you try. The pain may be there always, so if you’re going to hurt anyways, you might as well do what you enjoy. At least then you have a reason to why you’re in pain. Find Your Comfort. 




Judgemental

Woke up early this morning with some concerns on my mind.

Do you feel as if we judge one another by the levels of our pain, when it comes to fibromyalgia?

Yes, we are all in pain. Yet all of our pain is different and some may be the same, it’s still pain. Some people with chronic pain move more than others. Some may have more good days than others. Still, they know the pain.
There are people who work through the pain better than others. Some that feel, Well if I’m going to hurt I might as well push myself.

Don’t dislike or always hate someone because of there happiness, or goals they are achieving despite their chronic pain. And yes I agree that I’ve had my moments where I truly believe some people clearly don’t know the pain we feel and they are writing books and saying that if can be “fixed.” And do I dare say “cured” even. Yes I have seen these words from people. That’s when you know they have no idea the pain we feel and deal with every second of our life. But I respect the people who are pushing trying to fight fibromyalgia and fight to enjoy their lives.

What is true to one, may not be true to you but it’s still a truth to someone.

Even our own family and friends compare their pain to ours. Or they want to go back and forth with you on how they feel just as bad as you or they know the pain. They have no clue…

The pain I feel, if they felt it; I’m sure they’d die. Especially the head pain alone would take them out. At times I feel weak but when I see how others react to minor things like a “cold” that reminds me just how strong I really am.

Ok I must confess, when the people I love come to me telling me about this and that hurts. I want to say things like, “why should I care about your pain, if you don’t care about mine?” But I can’t be like that even though at times I’m so frustrated that I do say, “that’s how I be feeling. That’s exactly what I try to explain to you what’s going on with my body.”

I guess it’s difficult for others to notice because I carry this pain so well, I’m used to hiding it and I stand strong. Only one or two people see me at my weakest.

Let’s not hate on each other because our views are different. Let’s empower one another to encourage the hope to keep going and to never give up.

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