We are WildFlowers

Posts tagged ‘cold weather’

When Will it End

Hello, WildFlowers

I hope that you all are feeling better than I am today.

I am just coming down from having a cold. Still dealing with that a bit. Dealing with phlegm in my throat causing me to gag and be nauseous. The other day my back starts hurting. I feel the pain when I cough mostly. Also I’ve been feeling dizziness, spinning kind of feeling since the 3rd.

Today has been so weird for me. I’ve gotten used to my body doing unexplainable things but today seemed new and different. Woke up around, I can’t even remember now what time it was. Anyways, I’m sitting up on the bed and my legs are getting that “falling asleep” feeling. Almost feeling numb and not the first time this has happened maybe the second. Then lying back down I still feel this way. In my legs down to my toes.

I also feel trembling in my body which is nothing new. Heart is racing and I’m used to that, I’m trying to calm down. Try to relax but I can’t. The only other thing to do than nothing is sleeping. I can’t relax enough to even close my eyes. I hadn’t ate all day and it’s around 6pm. So with no one to ask I have to just get up and do this myself. I make a salad and as I stand things don’t feel right at all. My hands are literally trembling. I haven’t felt trembling in my hands like this before. Holding something, I could feel it shaking. If I didn’t focus on holding it and hurry to put it down I may dropped everything I was carrying.

I didn’t feel right eating but it made the trembling stop a bit. I drunk some ginger ale and then continued to sip on water.

I spoke to my mom to tell her how I was feeling just in case. When I began to talk I noticed I felt like I almost could get my words out. That freaked me out for sure, almost started to cry but held back my tears.

Ive been so worried about getting the flu, hearing about the death count on the news has me freaking out. I worried about having a stroke or heart attack. It’s crazy. I’m trying not to make myself worse with worrying. The weather keeps changing outside. Due to the fact I live in my aunt house right now, I don’t have control over the temperature in the house. It’s an older house so I’m sure the air flow in here isn’t that great. I’m always feeling as if I’m suffocating. Hot, cold, cold, hot is what I deal with.

It’s now going on 8:30pm and I still feel numbness in my toes. Aching in my legs. It’s crazy I feel like my entire body feels like a numbness, or heaviness.

Of course having anxiety, is making it that much more difficult to relax. I’m doing my best. I’m about to survive another day though.

Peace & Love.

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Waiting For Warmer Days

February 10, 2014

Waiting For Warmer Days

Again the weather as turned backwards and here I am again trying to get warm. Never thought I would want summer time to come do badly, but the winter has been torture for me this year. On my whole body, but mostly my legs. If my legs become too cold it’s a wrap, aching and soreness, and walking its tough to do. And stiffness becomes harder to deal with, staying in a certain position for to long, it hurts to move.
Having it be so cold took all my energy, with the pain plus the pain of when my period comes on, it took the motivation I started off with this year and dragged me through the last week of the month of January. All I could do was do my best to keep my spirit lifted and keep focus on just having faith, to be able to be happy throughout my days. With that said I had already put on a few extra pounds, that’s why I wanted to make working out a priority. It came to a stand still though and now I have gained so much weight maybe a good thirty almost forty pounds and it has actually caused so much more pain on my body. For the first time I really called myself fat and truly meant it and beloved it. I have I get back right. The pain and the cold weather caused me to slip back into not being able to move and be stiff. Going outside walking to the mailbox takes my breath away.
I told myself I was going to at least try and start back doing my exercise DVD (walk away the pounds) that reminds me I haven’t done it yet, maybe tonight. NO EXCUSES RIGHT! RIGHT?

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