June 1, 2015
•2.01 Miles Walk start time little after 8am (28mins)
June 2, 2015
Today I am torn between resting and pushing myself along. Last night as I tried to sleep my right leg bothered me and still as I woke this morning it aches badly, from my thigh all the way to my foot. Cramping in my foot and sore ankles. I’m very tired and emotional this morning, crying thinking about how tough things are for me and no one around me doesn’t think I have it hard. Everyone thinks I’m just being lazy and spoiled. I want to get this weight off of me so bad, in hopes that I will feel a lot better but I don’t want to end up becoming so depressed and stressed for it to happen. Truthfully I think that’s been the only times in my life I slimed down, is because I was very depressed. Barely eating if any, and sleeping a lot. That’s what I ended up doing and I don’t want to let that happen but days like this makes me feel like that may be the only way. While writing this just now I have began to have pain in my face/jaw. I guess I will rest today, going to do my best to find a peaceful/happy place in my mind to relax. (Wishful Thinking) Everyone thinks they know and can relate somehow but they have no idea. If you don’t have it, you will never understand it. All my life I thought I knew pain but the pain I’ve had from fibromyalgia for the last seven years, has been hell on earth and along with the other situations in life, marriage, family, friends, hardships all around. All I can think about is that I’m still here, what am I going to do. It’s one of those days…
June 3, 2015
Again today I’m off my routine that i had started because of the weather, and because of my monthly cycle approaching, my energy level is down and body aching everywhere. Today I cramped up, having muscle spasms like in my butt around my groan area. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that and having aching in my feet. Still I ended going out with my husband because he is under the weather. I kind of felt depressed and earlier in the day I felt frustrated, irritated, and annoyed.
June 4, 2015
Woke up this morning feeling drained and the heels of my feet are so sore and aching. It’s another rainy day and I have stuff to get done, but I so don’t want to go anywhere. I’m sad again today, trying to get my tears out before my husband returns. I didn’t go anywhere after all. Took almost all day for the pain in my heel to stop. Today was a messed up day but hoping for a better tomorrow.
June 5, 2015
Again this morning I woke with the heel of my foot hurting. I tell you my motivation is all the way down. This is not going the way I wanted, but maybe the way I expected with my fibro body.
June 6, 2015
I have woke up this morning with good intentions. Trying not to let things get me down, because those things are going to be with me very morning as I am on this path of exercising. I still didn’t do any exercising but was up moving and doing today.
June 7, 2015
Today I wake up to get ready to go to my niece high school graduation, I’m do happy, excited and proud of her, glad I get to go. But I have to be honest, I’m nervous also though because I’ve been cramping a lot these past days. I hope and pray my fibromyalgia let’s be get through the day without embarrassing me. 12pm-2pm is how long the ceremony is and I’m wearing heels, going down town, I hope I make it.
Of course I have a bowel movement this morning and it makes me cramp up do bad in my ass/stomach. This has been happening a lot lately. It hurts like hell, but I have to force myself through this pain today. My day ended on a good note but as soon as I got home I cramped up again after going to the bathroom. I don’t know why it keeps happening. Overall though I’m good.