We are WildFlowers

Posts tagged ‘Exercise’

The Struggle of Change 

Speaking from my own life experience, changing ones lifestyle is not easy. For myself it’s the influence of others around me, the people I live with. It doesn’t help living with depression and anxiety and my personality of not wanting to deal with confrontation and just going with the flow to keep a peaceful environment. It is difficult to say no to many things. 

When you want to change your eating habits and realize that you’re not really hungry, but people who love you want to feed you all the time. They want to offer you food and you feel bad for turning them down when they went out their way to cook or buy food. 

No one else in the house cares to eat differently and you find it hard to not eat what they’re eating. No one else in the house wants to exercise every day so you’re left to do it alone and can’t always motivate yourself to just get up and do it. 

[ My anxiety causes me to feel that if I start to exercise at home people are going to ask me what I’m doing and bother me, look at me as if I’m crazy. ]

Then there are times were you feel so down that you give up and don’t care and all of what you were trying to accomplish goes out the window and you want all of what you love despite the fact you know you don’t need it and it may even make you feel worst than you already do. 

The struggle is real and it’s not easy for everyone. It’s sad to say but I believe if you were to tell your family that you have been diagnosed with cancer, I bet everyone would be by your side in helping you live a better life. 

When you have anxiety, depression and fibromyalgia, no one cares. No one wants to help you and you are told to suck it up and just do what you have to do. 

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Fight the Excuses 

Monday I started a new exercise routine that I felt would be easy enough for me to do and I could keep it up. Tuesday came and I was very sore, to the point I was walking like tin-man. I decided I would rest one day then get back to the next and keep this pattern going. 

All day Tuesday I was sore and felt like this was going to be a total failure again. While in bed sleep thinking about Wednesday, I was creating excuses in my head. All night through early morning, as I get in and out of bed to use the bathroom, I’m so sore and I just know I won’t be able to do any kind of workout. 

I’m thinking that just getting up out of bed is good enough. Walking around to get stuff done is good enough. I want to lie in bed and let my body not be sore anymore. Truth is though my body might never not be sore, I would be waiting forever. 

That point came when I was ready to get up and I made me some ice coffee, took some vitamins and I seemed to be walking a little easier, I was still feeling sore but I felt I could definitely move around. 

I put my sneakers on and played some music and got started. I did my exercise and I’m proud of myself for not giving in to my excuses. 

Extra Weight 

I don’t know if I’m the only one who has put on extra pounds since the symptoms of fibromyalgia kicked in. Over the past years I’ve tried, done my best to keep a workout routine and I always end up finding reasons to stop, other than the pain. I get really bored and of course not having someone to workout with, but not having someone with the same energy, attitude, and of course someone that I really like. 

To other people I may not look any different and I’ve never been a skinny or slim person but I see and feel the difference. It was not just the number on the scale that bothered me. Recently my knees have been bothering me to the point I sometimes feel they will give out on me. It started with my left, and sometimes it’s my right knee. The ache or pain catches me off guard and I have to catch myself as if my leg is giving out. My breathing has gotten heavier and I give out of breath easier. If that wasn’t enough. One morning I wake up and I see my stomach, I notice streach marks on my stomach! I have not had any babies so I should not have streach marks on my stomach. I knew I had gained weight but not to that point. At this point I’m telling myself the same thing I’ve always told myself, you have to do something about this. Having depression and anxiety both make it difficult to find motivation to do anything. Clothes have gotten tighter, everything is uncomfortable and I refuse to go up a size. I will get back to where I was and hopefully go down a size. 

Okay I’m rambling on, I’ll get to the point of this post. I came across this video on YouTube and the guy doing the video was a little comical which caught my attention, but also the fact it seemed easy enough. I told myself I would try it. 

When I woke this morning feeling like doing nothing. Throat seemed swollen and sore. I’m trying not to gag. I had my cup of coffee then endured brushing my teeth without gagging up a lung. Afterwards, I don’t know what came over me. I made the choice in my head that I was going to try this workout. So I did. 

Ok everyone I had the slowest moment in history, dumbest mistake. I get started with the workout. I open the clock app on my phone and set timer for 30 seconds but I do not look at the other columns and hit the start button and I begin to walk as fast as I can back and forth. I’m thinking to myself this is the longest 30 seconds ever, it shouldn’t be taking this long. I keep going and going. Finally the alarm sounds and I look down and I see why it took so long. It was set to 15 minutes and 30 seconds. I couldn’t believe I had did this to myself. My mind could not register that I needed to stop because it was wrong. I had a second or two when I knew something wasn’t right but my mind could not figure out why. That makes me sad and I feel like I’m losing the function to comprehend but on the positive side of things, I got a nice workout. I finished up the right way. I was to do the quick workout  four times but since I had added that 15 minutes to it, I figured I would say I had done enough for now. 


https://youtu.be/Zsr3LDkbM0M (here’s the link to the video) 

Challenge My Fibro Body : week 2

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June 1, 2015
•2.01 Miles Walk start time little after 8am (28mins)

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June 2, 2015
Today I am torn between resting and pushing myself along. Last night as I tried to sleep my right leg bothered me and still as I woke this morning it aches badly, from my thigh all the way to my foot. Cramping in my foot and sore ankles. I’m very tired and emotional this morning, crying thinking about how tough things are for me and no one around me doesn’t think I have it hard. Everyone thinks I’m just being lazy and spoiled. I want to get this weight off of me so bad, in hopes that I will feel a lot better but I don’t want to end up becoming so depressed and stressed for it to happen. Truthfully I think that’s been the only times in my life I slimed down, is because I was very depressed. Barely eating if any, and sleeping a lot. That’s what I ended up doing and I don’t want to let that happen but days like this makes me feel like that may be the only way. While writing this just now I have began to have pain in my face/jaw. I guess I will rest today, going to do my best to find a peaceful/happy place in my mind to relax. (Wishful Thinking) Everyone thinks they know and can relate somehow but they have no idea. If you don’t have it, you will never understand it. All my life I thought I knew pain but the pain I’ve had from fibromyalgia for the last seven years, has been hell on earth and along with the other situations in life, marriage, family, friends, hardships all around. All I can think about is that I’m still here, what am I going to do. It’s one of those days…

June 3, 2015
Again today I’m off my routine that i had started because of the weather, and because of my monthly cycle approaching, my energy level is down and body aching everywhere. Today I cramped up, having muscle spasms like in my butt around my groan area. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that and having aching in my feet. Still I ended going out with my husband because he is under the weather. I kind of felt depressed and earlier in the day I felt frustrated, irritated, and annoyed.

June 4, 2015
Woke up this morning feeling drained and the heels of my feet are so sore and aching. It’s another rainy day and I have stuff to get done, but I so don’t want to go anywhere. I’m sad again today, trying to get my tears out before my husband returns.   I didn’t go anywhere after all. Took almost all day for the pain in my heel to stop. Today was a messed up day but hoping for a better tomorrow.

June 5, 2015
Again this morning I woke with the heel of my foot hurting. I tell you my motivation is all the way down. This is not going the way I wanted, but maybe the way I expected with my fibro body. 

June 6, 2015
I have woke up this morning with good intentions. Trying not to let things get me down, because those things are going to be with me very morning as I am on this path of exercising. I still didn’t do any exercising but was up moving and doing today.

June 7, 2015
Today I wake up to get ready to go to my niece high school graduation, I’m do happy, excited and proud of her, glad I get to go. But I have to be honest, I’m nervous also though because I’ve been cramping a lot these past days. I hope and pray my fibromyalgia let’s be get through the day without embarrassing me. 12pm-2pm is how long the ceremony is and I’m wearing heels, going down town, I hope I make it.
Of course I have a bowel movement this morning and it makes me cramp up do bad in my ass/stomach. This has been happening a lot lately. It hurts like hell, but I have to force myself through this pain today. My day ended on a good note but as soon as I got home I cramped up again after going to the bathroom. I don’t know why it keeps happening. Overall though I’m good.

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Move Monday

August 11, 2014

Move Monday

Today it was a little difficult getting up, I wanted to keep lying in bed, but I have told myself to stick with my plan and I’m trying to do that. I checked the weather and I know I didn’t to get up and get outside before it got hot or rained. It was the perfect time to get out, so I took a deep breath and told myself to get up, go ahead and do this. I got up and since I was just waking up and wasn’t hungry, I took some fruits out the fridge and mixed up a smoothie. I drank it while I took my walk, when I made it back around to the house I was at one mile and took the cup inside and kept going.

I don’t know what got into me today, but I just didn’t want to stop. At the same time I didn’t want to over do it. I went around twice today and it feels amazing. When I reached the other half of the circle the song A Little More Jesus played in my ear and gave me that extra push I needed to keep going. Before reaching my end point I saw a beautiful bright colored yellow and black butterfly. The perfect ending to my walk.

MOVING MONDAY! I DID IT!

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Oxymoron

June 30, 2014

Oxymoron

I was thinking and it’s crazy how it’s said that one will feel better if you exercise. And that is a true statement but it’s not quite that simple when you have chronic pain.

Now I’ve exercised and was proud of myself, but and yes there is a big but… I have tried different things and it’s not just to do it, it’s also to try and lose weight. Or at least drop some fat to lighten my load. I do feel things would be a little easier if I could drop some pounds.

I do aerobics from a DVD and it’s ok but I get bored and I feel strong when doing it. Also I enjoy using the treadmill and it can be great, but there are times my body starts hurting. Calves, ankles, legs, and whatever else and oh can’t forget the headaches. I’ve gotten headaches after working out, but I felt good during and was proud of myself though.

When it’s around the time of my menstrual cycle it’s tough to keep going, because I have premenstrual symptoms; so I start to cramp and ache all over before anything even happens. Then when it does start its about seven days and I may be in pain for five, never know how much I will be able to do or move around.

I do know when I don’t do a lot of moving around, be that exercising or just talking a walk; that affects me and I feel really sick.

So now I have to think of everything as exercise because I’m doing the best that I can.

We hurt and are told to exercise that causes us to hurt still. And yes it’s easy on the body and joints if you do exercise in water [pool] but for me I find that it’s tricky just like when you have good days full of energy and you may tend to over do it because you can. I feel when I’m in the pool I want to move around so much because it’s easy and it doesn’t hurt. But still if I over do it and stay in the pool to long later I am aching.

We can find ways to do things easier and to relieve some pain but it’s temporary.

Move More

April 2, 2014

Move More

For the ones in this Fibro Family who don’t have as many other things going on along with the fibromyalgia, I need to you be as strong as you never thought you could.

There’s so many reasons that we can say we can’t, but what about we had to the list of what we can. Many of us still get up and go to work, because we want to or have no other choice. Some of us stay home mostly and I am one of those home bound people, but I do my best to get up and walk around, as much as I can. Of course cleaning is like number one for me, being I can get kind of OCD about it. I don’t always have much energy but when I do, of course I have to try not to over do it, but I walk up to the gym here in my apartment complex and do at least twenty minutes on the TreadClimber or just walk up and back down the sidewalk.
When in home alone I enjoy putting my headphones on and moving around to music. That’s what I like to do, then I go back to resting.

It is a very warm 82 degrees today where I am, and i woke up body feeling rather “normal” and I got dressed, walked to the mailbox. It’s so nice out but I have to admit, the warmth kind of took my breath away just as it did when it was too cold. And the sun hurt my eyes, I know I have to put on sunglasses before going out again.

It just feels good to feel good right now, I almost want to cry because I wish this freedom would stay and be with me everyday.

HELLO SPRING TIME, I AM READY!

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