May 23, 2014
Look Good; Feel Good, how many times have you heard this?
It’s crazy because having fibromyalgia and maybe any chronic illness, the person may not ever look sick on the outside. And who wants to look sick? I would say nobody right.
You have to look a little deeper when you want to notice what’s going on with someone with a chronic illness, because they become very good at hiding their true feelings. And there’s that “hiding out” part as well, they may never really want to be around others long enough for them to even see any kind of changes.
Now my personal issues with my appearance goes way back. I’ve always been a little to a lot insecure about how I look, to others and to myself. Even though I had people telling me I was pretty, beautiful, it only took one person saying something negative towards me to question myself.
Now today as a grown woman about to 30 years old this year, I am still not that happy with how I look and it’s stressful. There are things about myself I love, but if I was to lose those things I don’t know what I would do.
I’ve always felt the need to express myself somehow, at times I do it with my clothes or hair. Which at first seems like a good idea, but having fibromyalgia, depression and anxiety, I have a lot of issues I’m dealing with. One issue is hair breakage, but not the normal kind. I kind one day notice that a patch of hair is short, like it’s been cut off and I didn’t cut it. It makes things look weird, my other hair won’t cover or lay right, so I cut it all even. The worst time is waiting for my hair to grow back. That is the problem I’m having now, it’s been months and my hair is still very short, so I got me a wig to wear. And the wig makes me look like a different person, I feel better. But at the same time I feel sicker, because I’m wearing a wig.
And don’t get me started on how I feel about my body, I will save that for another day, but today I just miss my hair.