Hope you all are feeling better than me today. Today I feel so sad, crying and I’m tired. I’m tired and I haven’t even done anything. I don’t even feel like trying to explain what I’m feeling in my body right now. All day long. It’s been a tough few months. Day after day. When the new day starts I’m woke, when the day is moving along I am still, in bed trying to get sleep. By night fall I’m wide awoke again most of the time. There are times that I stay up and try to keep myself busy but with the proper rest, I feel sick.
I feel like nothing I eat or drink agrees with me. To be honest I really don’t want to eat anymore. I try to go as long as I can and not eat. I’m tried of drinking and going to the bathroom. I guess I’m just tried of what is called my life.
One of the most frustrating things are, when you’ve told your family and friends you have fibromyalgia, you have told them all the symptoms even printed them out for them to see and read. Constantly talking about it and explaining. Then when you don’t feel well and they ask what’s wrong, you tell them what you’re feeling and they ask you why are you feeling that way or what did you do. Oh how crazy it is you feel that way etc…
In that moment I feel as if no one cares and of course no one understands. The crap just happens and I don’t know why. It’s like they don’t care to keep that information in their head of What fibromyalgia does to someone. They have no clue.
No one wants to hear about how I feel but then they tell me about their aches and pains as if their pain is more relevant than mine. Don’t forget about the age. People older feel they have a right to feel the way they do and wonder what’s my reason or how, why, would be aching and joints popping, I’m too young to be feeling that way etc…
February 13, 2014
My moods range from very sad, happy then grumpy. Oh yeah also anger, I have a short temper depending on the subject matter or situation. I’ve been this way I think all my life even as a young child.
I would go from laughing, to being serious within seem seconds. With the pain of fibromyalgia, it makes me anger, and sad mostly. Add depression along with that; that heightens the level of it. My sad moods become very emotional, depressive moods. And my frustrated moods become very angry moods, because I’m so tired and stressed out from feeling sharp pains, being sore, having headaches that I just want to get away from everything and everybody. And too feel like you being your self, but have love ones react towards you as if you’re wrong all the time. You have an attitude problem or you have issues, you’re crazy. I they just don’t get it, they don’t understand that you really have Jo control over it. It comes and goes, just like your pain. At times I can feel my moods about to change and in advance I say sorry for my actions before hand. Or I go off by myself, which most the time to bed to sleep.
When I’m happy I’m happy, and the worst is when I’m happy, in a great mood the person around me is not. I dislike when I got get them to cheer up, because the negative energy really brings me down. Then it doesn’t help that I feel my sense of humor is different, I may think things are funny, when others don’t. I have to admit I laugh at a lot of different things. And I’m just overall a very unique person, down to music, tv shows I enjoy, how I’m a home-body. Which that’s not from the fibromyalgia, been that way all my life. Even though it’s still unknown if I really had fibromyalgia this whole time, or what. When I was young I was diagnosed with having anxiety then depression, which are things you have along with fibromyalgia, so and the other thing is I’ve always had itchy, sensitive skin, and I got my period at a very very young age and it’s been painful all my life. The question will always wonder in my head. I’m a very emotional person, that’s me.