We are WildFlowers

Posts tagged ‘Positive Thoughts’

The Root of It All

How long did it take you to figure out what to change in your life to help make you feel better?

I am still on the journey of trying to figure out what to eat, what not to eat. How does my body react to things. I’m lost and I can’t keep track. Every time I think I know, I don’t really have it. That alone is exhausting.

Being in so much discomfort and pain. You don’t want to take away everything you love. I want to be able to have those things that just make me happy, but I don’t know if those things are keeping me from being stuck in this never ending cycle.

Lately I’ve been so stressed which is not good. Random things keep happening as they always do but I’m never ready or looking forward to. For example: I’m sitting up in bed legs crisscrossed “indian style” I unfold them and notice my right foot is going numb, like it’s fallen asleep it’s tingling. Within seconds of me noticing that the same feeling moves up my entire leg and thigh. I’m freaking out because it feels weird, uncomfortable and I don’t know what’s about to happen next. What if I lose all feeing or can’t walk. I took off whatever clothing I had on just to feel free and I laid back and tried to relax. The feeling goes away at some point but I’ve never had that feeling go up my leg like that and especially with me just sitting on the bed.

I’m like I have to be mindful of so much that I do and that is one reason why I choose not to go to every family event of go everywhere in general because I’m just concerned of what or how my body may react to be being out.

Right now I have a toe that had been bothering me since yesterday and it feel the bone of the toe or joint hurts.

I’m so exhausted trying to live a life that I feel is trying to kill me. I can’t seem to get much of anything that is important to me done. My hands keep aching, I have to take breaks for that along with the fact I’m not sleeping well so I have to sleep when my body allows me to. Well I should say mind and body allows me to. Mostly by He time I fall asleep and wake up the day is almost over and I’m trying to get in as much as I can before it’s time for me to try and fall asleep again like a “normal” person.

Oh!!! I almost forgot another reason I haven’t been sleeping is because my skin as been itching so bad. I’m feeling things on me, feeing little pricks and stings. I feel like I’m losing my mind. Then seem like every time I get to sleeping really good, I have to get up to pee. 🤦‍♀️ trying to find balance of cold and hot is another struggle.

Of course I could go on and on…. I just don’t know if I will ever have this all figured out.

All I know is keeping negativity away and saying NO when I can’t and don’t want to do something right go somewhere. Making myself laugh more and putting time and energy into myself.

Season of Change

Hello Wildflowers,

I hope that you all woke up in a good spirit today.

I woke up this morning with a new state of mind about myself. Knowing what you have to do for yourself is only one small part of the battle, maybe even the easiest part. Actually putting it into action is tough for some.

“Knowing what you have to do for yourself is only half the battle.”

This morning I got up and I moved. Not just that slow pace to the bathroom move. I really got up and moved. I had to shake it off so to speak. I did squats, high knees and some arm exercises. I don’t have any weights so I used a bottle of Gain detergent, that is 100 oz. roughly about 7lbs. Even though I’ve done a little bit here and there, I’ve done exercises that have left me in serious pain. Today I woke up different and today these exercises meant more to me and I felt I was doing it right this morning. I am proud of myself.

I am sorry for anyone who woke up this morning in any pain or having negative thoughts or you are having trouble. If anyone is going to a flare, I know how it is. I just want to share my moment of feeling good with you all in hopes that it inspires someone else.

I will enjoy this day and not focus on tomorrow until it is here. I can’t promise myself because it would only turn into a lie (maybe) I never know how or if I will wake the next day, so I will set a small goal.

In hopes that I reach this goal every day. That goal is to have a positive thought(s) when I wake up.

It won’t be easy but I will continue to try.

“Wake up with a positive thought every morning.”

Good Day

Hello WildFlowers,

I hope you all are having a good day. Good days are very few for most of us. When you do have one you have to learn not to do much, just take that good feeling and enjoy the peace of it. Live in that pain-free day and ride it out. Do not over do it.

It’s crazy how relaxed I feel right now. My mind even feels at peace. I don’t want to think about anything, afraid of ruining that feeling.

Didn’t fall asleep until around 4am, woke up around 2pm. Had a cup of coffee and I began cleaning up my bedroom, I can now see the floor from all the clothes being picked up. I can now walk freely on a flat surface.

Now at 5:30pm I don’t want to do anything, I don’t want to move. I have a sore spot on my back which is the only thing bothering me today.

It’s cloudy, rainy and cold outside and I just want to Netflix until 8pm when it’s time for a basketball game I want to watch.

Today is a good day.

Fibromyalgia WildFlowers 


When I first started this blog I had a difficult time trying to figure out what to title it. Now that I have so many who follow my blog, which I never expected. It as shown me how many people are thinking or dealing with the same things as me, maybe just being able to relate. 

      I was thinking about how when it comes to fibromyalgia, it affects everyone differently. I can’t believe how I came up with the new name, I was working on this short story that I’m hoping to get done before Christmas. Anyways I was writing about the character and I wrote the sentence, “Hello to all my wildflowers.” Later all it hit me. 


WildFlowers grow wild of all different colors, shapes, styles etc… what a perfect way to describe the beautiful people who live with this illness called fibromyalgia. 
For now on I will start my blog post with, 

Hello my Beautiful WildFlowers. 

The Root 


So many people become sick and once they have been diagnosed, they feel as if they are on the right path of knowing what is wrong. Some think that it’s the last stage of knowing, like ok this is it, but that is farthest from the truth. Now you have to find the root, meaning why did you get what you were diagnosed with? 

I feel that most doctors are quick to throw prescription drugs at people and give them false hope of living a “normal” life. Even if doctors request you change your diet and exercise they still recommend taking a prescription, which leads to taking more things or for some, side effects. I get that we need help and prescription drugs are said to be “safe” if taking the right dosage but I have some issues with taking drugs. 

1.) Not being able to just stop the drug, you have to be taken off of it slowly, this is what is told. That if you just quit taking it, that could cause serious side effects. 

2.) side effects, which no one needs. At times you are given another drug for the side effects. 

3.) dependence, becoming depended on whatever drug and feeling sick if you don’t have it. 

4.) What if it stops working. Then you have to be put on something new in hopes it will work as good. 

5.) Solution, feels like a never ending cycle. 

The point I’m trying to make is, shouldn’t you be able to live a drug-free life. Why is it that the right solution is always taking some kind of drug. I know it is a debatable issue and I am not knocking that drugs help some people. 

My opinion is mostly based on watching someone close to me go through the stages of finding what works. My entirely life I’ve watched my mom go through the struggles of major depression and her having the prescribed drugs from her doctor that she used to overdose on attempting to commit suicide. I won’t get into how damaging that was for me to watch and thinking I would lose my mom forever. Years later, her still going to a therapist and psychologist and it’s still the same. The scary part about it all is that without the drugs she gives up, without the drugs it’s like an addict going cold-turkey. She doesn’t want to have to take all the medicine but she truly believes if she stops, that is it, she won’t be able to make it. Even with the drugs she still has very down days and worries, still has suicidal thoughts but maybe not as much. 

Everyone is different and I understand that people cope in ways that they can to be able to function and make it day to day. 

The sad truth is that we can’t even depend on being truly healthy by eating fruits and vegetables. Our food being sprayed with chemicals and so forth. We can’t trust anything theses days, even our drinking water. No matter what we do we are programmed to be damaged. 

We have products being made to be a solution to all that. Stating that they are natural and that is what we gravitate towards and we invest all our money into it and there are many testimonies about how they all work and help fix problems. Still I see it as being depended on something. 

People have to work towards being able to live there life without the help of something extra. 

Think about the steps of how a garden grows. The dirt, the seeds, and you allow nature to take it course with sunlight and rain. You don’t have to do anything special but tend to it. It will grow without any chemicals, so shouldn’t your body be able to do the same? 

Everyone isn’t able to grow there on fruits and vegetables but knowing that maybe at a farmers market you can trust they don’t use any chemicals to grow. If you eat fresh fruits and vegetables, get you some sunshine and drink clean water, shouldn’t it be that easy? Why isn’t it? 

What is the root of the problem? 

Life Changer 

Today I read a message that was sent to me and it like many others I’ve received. It’s full of hope about being “cured” about making life better, having a life without pain. The funny thing is I’m not in pain right now as I’m writing this but like any other day that could change at any moment. I wanted to share the message with you all and share my response. I hope I do not offend the person who sent me the message but I dislike people who send me messages of wanting to talk to me about something that will fix me, as if I’m broken. Well they stated that it’s something that will give me my life back. The one problem with that is unlike others, this is the only life I’ve known. It hasn’t been any better or any worst. It just is what it is. Everyone with or without a chronic illness will have good and bad days, they will also want to vent or complain a bit. My life is what it is and even with chronic pain I don’t know what I would be doing differently. My pain isn’t what has stopped me, many other factors in my life have kept me from succeeding. I was on a downward spiral on an never ending roller-coaster and fibromyalgia forced me to stop and examine my life and realize I had many habits that needed to stop. My pain is a wake up call, a reminder of I’m still not the person I should be. 

If mentally I’m the same person and I spend money to buy any and everything that could make me feel better, for how long will it work? Won’t I become depended on it? What happens if I can’t get it anymore? 

I may not always be smiling and hopeful for my down days don’t last as long as they used too. Mentally I’m much stronger now than I’ve ever been. My body is forcing me to make changes but I want to be able to find a way that doesn’t have me buying some special kind of product regardless if it’s “healthy” or “natural” I have a long way to go. Financially I want to start with the basics such as the food I eat, getting enough sleep and being as active as I can. Until I’m able to get those things under control I’m not wasting money. I need free solutions for my life. I know many will argue that it’s worth it but I don’t agree. I want to just be able to buy fresh vegetables or grow my own and eat without worrying that it’s going to make me sick. I want to be able to have a drug-free life. I made it to age 33 I think I can make it many more years. (Just how I feel about my life) 

Message Sent:  “HI Melissa, How are you going? I kind of feel like that is a silly question as I just read your current blog (from the 10th). I wanted to connect as I have a large circle of people around me with Fibromyalgia and we have found something that has given them their lives back. Sounds crazy and impossible, I know! They all think the same things 😂 If you would like to connect, and learn more, please feel free to get in contact with me. I would love to skype/face time and find out more about you. Take care.”

My response: Hi, financially I can not buy anything to try in hopes it will magically make me feel better. The difference from me and others is, other people had a life they loved before fibromyalgia and have a point that they wish to get back to. Since I was young I’ve lived with anxiety and depression and the fibromyalgia came later, which I feel I maybe always had. I don’t have a life to get back. I just have the life that I live. I’m still here and still going, I don’t look at my pain as a life stopper, I feel it’s been a life changer for the better. It sucks and it is very painful at times but I don’t like being told that there is some fix all product. If there is why be so secret about it. Give me something to post and let everyone know about this wonderful thing that will give them there lives back. Thank you take care. 

Fight the Excuses 

Monday I started a new exercise routine that I felt would be easy enough for me to do and I could keep it up. Tuesday came and I was very sore, to the point I was walking like tin-man. I decided I would rest one day then get back to the next and keep this pattern going. 

All day Tuesday I was sore and felt like this was going to be a total failure again. While in bed sleep thinking about Wednesday, I was creating excuses in my head. All night through early morning, as I get in and out of bed to use the bathroom, I’m so sore and I just know I won’t be able to do any kind of workout. 

I’m thinking that just getting up out of bed is good enough. Walking around to get stuff done is good enough. I want to lie in bed and let my body not be sore anymore. Truth is though my body might never not be sore, I would be waiting forever. 

That point came when I was ready to get up and I made me some ice coffee, took some vitamins and I seemed to be walking a little easier, I was still feeling sore but I felt I could definitely move around. 

I put my sneakers on and played some music and got started. I did my exercise and I’m proud of myself for not giving in to my excuses. 

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