I stepped out of my comfort zone this week. A store I went into were hiring for stocking and I got an application. It’s a small dollar tree store and it really needed help. My mom and I asked if you can just get hired just to stock and they said yes. I’m hoping that this will be the first time, well I take that back the second time I can get hired not to be a cashier. I have most of my experience in retail, also was a assistant manager so I qualify for the job. The only thing is, I haven’t worked in years. I know I don’t want to handle the stress of being a cashier but being on the floor and organizing things is the part I always enjoyed.
Plus dealing with the symptoms of fibromyalgia a lot has changed with myself. Also my anxiety had gotten worse, so it’s a big step for me to have taken the application back yesterday. I drove myself, which is a big deal now. I have to wait until Monday and I will see what happens.
At least I’m making an attempt.
I just want to do something that won’t be too much stress on me and can give me a income to contribute, so I won’t feel like a waste of space or at least put a little money in my pocket.
I don’t know if I’m the only one who has put on extra pounds since the symptoms of fibromyalgia kicked in. Over the past years I’ve tried, done my best to keep a workout routine and I always end up finding reasons to stop, other than the pain. I get really bored and of course not having someone to workout with, but not having someone with the same energy, attitude, and of course someone that I really like.
To other people I may not look any different and I’ve never been a skinny or slim person but I see and feel the difference. It was not just the number on the scale that bothered me. Recently my knees have been bothering me to the point I sometimes feel they will give out on me. It started with my left, and sometimes it’s my right knee. The ache or pain catches me off guard and I have to catch myself as if my leg is giving out. My breathing has gotten heavier and I give out of breath easier. If that wasn’t enough. One morning I wake up and I see my stomach, I notice streach marks on my stomach! I have not had any babies so I should not have streach marks on my stomach. I knew I had gained weight but not to that point. At this point I’m telling myself the same thing I’ve always told myself, you have to do something about this. Having depression and anxiety both make it difficult to find motivation to do anything. Clothes have gotten tighter, everything is uncomfortable and I refuse to go up a size. I will get back to where I was and hopefully go down a size.
Okay I’m rambling on, I’ll get to the point of this post. I came across this video on YouTube and the guy doing the video was a little comical which caught my attention, but also the fact it seemed easy enough. I told myself I would try it.
When I woke this morning feeling like doing nothing. Throat seemed swollen and sore. I’m trying not to gag. I had my cup of coffee then endured brushing my teeth without gagging up a lung. Afterwards, I don’t know what came over me. I made the choice in my head that I was going to try this workout. So I did.
Ok everyone I had the slowest moment in history, dumbest mistake. I get started with the workout. I open the clock app on my phone and set timer for 30 seconds but I do not look at the other columns and hit the start button and I begin to walk as fast as I can back and forth. I’m thinking to myself this is the longest 30 seconds ever, it shouldn’t be taking this long. I keep going and going. Finally the alarm sounds and I look down and I see why it took so long. It was set to 15 minutes and 30 seconds. I couldn’t believe I had did this to myself. My mind could not register that I needed to stop because it was wrong. I had a second or two when I knew something wasn’t right but my mind could not figure out why. That makes me sad and I feel like I’m losing the function to comprehend but on the positive side of things, I got a nice workout. I finished up the right way. I was to do the quick workout four times but since I had added that 15 minutes to it, I figured I would say I had done enough for now.
https://youtu.be/Zsr3LDkbM0M (here’s the link to the video)
Always remember that Jesus himself went through pain. He had been where you are and been through more pain than you could endure, ten times over. You Your never alone in this journey. I know it’s not easy and you want to give up but you must keep going. As long as you are waken up or maybe you never went to sleep, as long as you still have breath inside you; you must keep going. Your pain is not the end, your pain is an eye opener.
Like Paul some of us are reminded every day that we are in constant pain and some of us can find the positive outlook on it, while others see it has a curse/touture.
Mentally you must be strong, even when your body is weak, fore when the body is weak so can it trigger negative thoughts that cause you to fall right into all the discomforts in life.
You must Find Your Comfort in the pain. Don’t just live with it and accept it, you must continue to find the root of it all. Is your pain as is the thorn in Paul? Are you accepting it to better yourself? Or have you accepted that your life was meant to be full of pain?
Better yourself, your life, the smallest to the largest of things that need working on. This is the time to face truths that you’ve been lying to yourself about for years. What is God trying to change about you? Or in you/your life?
Find Your Comfort… if it’s in your pajamas, then you proudly wear them and don’t feel guilty or worry about what others think. You have to think of yourself now. You are the one enduring the pain, not them. True friends and family that truly love you, will be right by your side and won’t judge you. Anyone who looks down on you, is not for you. Keep people around that allow you to feel peace, happiness and tranquility.
Most importantly have people around you that motivate you to be a better you. Remember that you won’t see a difference unless you try. The pain may be there always, so if you’re going to hurt anyways, you might as well do what you enjoy. At least then you have a reason to why you’re in pain. Find Your Comfort.