How long did it take you to figure out what to change in your life to help make you feel better?
I am still on the journey of trying to figure out what to eat, what not to eat. How does my body react to things. I’m lost and I can’t keep track. Every time I think I know, I don’t really have it. That alone is exhausting.
Being in so much discomfort and pain. You don’t want to take away everything you love. I want to be able to have those things that just make me happy, but I don’t know if those things are keeping me from being stuck in this never ending cycle.
Lately I’ve been so stressed which is not good. Random things keep happening as they always do but I’m never ready or looking forward to. For example: I’m sitting up in bed legs crisscrossed “indian style” I unfold them and notice my right foot is going numb, like it’s fallen asleep it’s tingling. Within seconds of me noticing that the same feeling moves up my entire leg and thigh. I’m freaking out because it feels weird, uncomfortable and I don’t know what’s about to happen next. What if I lose all feeing or can’t walk. I took off whatever clothing I had on just to feel free and I laid back and tried to relax. The feeling goes away at some point but I’ve never had that feeling go up my leg like that and especially with me just sitting on the bed.
I’m like I have to be mindful of so much that I do and that is one reason why I choose not to go to every family event of go everywhere in general because I’m just concerned of what or how my body may react to be being out.
Right now I have a toe that had been bothering me since yesterday and it feel the bone of the toe or joint hurts.
I’m so exhausted trying to live a life that I feel is trying to kill me. I can’t seem to get much of anything that is important to me done. My hands keep aching, I have to take breaks for that along with the fact I’m not sleeping well so I have to sleep when my body allows me to. Well I should say mind and body allows me to. Mostly by He time I fall asleep and wake up the day is almost over and I’m trying to get in as much as I can before it’s time for me to try and fall asleep again like a “normal” person.
Oh!!! I almost forgot another reason I haven’t been sleeping is because my skin as been itching so bad. I’m feeling things on me, feeing little pricks and stings. I feel like I’m losing my mind. Then seem like every time I get to sleeping really good, I have to get up to pee. 🤦♀️ trying to find balance of cold and hot is another struggle.
Of course I could go on and on…. I just don’t know if I will ever have this all figured out.
All I know is keeping negativity away and saying NO when I can’t and don’t want to do something right go somewhere. Making myself laugh more and putting time and energy into myself.
I hope that you all woke up in a good spirit today.
I woke up this morning with a new state of mind about myself. Knowing what you have to do for yourself is only one small part of the battle, maybe even the easiest part. Actually putting it into action is tough for some.
“Knowing what you have to do for yourself is only half the battle.”
This morning I got up and I moved. Not just that slow pace to the bathroom move. I really got up and moved. I had to shake it off so to speak. I did squats, high knees and some arm exercises. I don’t have any weights so I used a bottle of Gain detergent, that is 100 oz. roughly about 7lbs. Even though I’ve done a little bit here and there, I’ve done exercises that have left me in serious pain. Today I woke up different and today these exercises meant more to me and I felt I was doing it right this morning. I am proud of myself.
I am sorry for anyone who woke up this morning in any pain or having negative thoughts or you are having trouble. If anyone is going to a flare, I know how it is. I just want to share my moment of feeling good with you all in hopes that it inspires someone else.
I will enjoy this day and not focus on tomorrow until it is here. I can’t promise myself because it would only turn into a lie (maybe) I never know how or if I will wake the next day, so I will set a small goal.
In hopes that I reach this goal every day. That goal is to have a positive thought(s) when I wake up.
It won’t be easy but I will continue to try.
“Wake up with a positive thought every morning.”
Do you have family or friends close to you that are dealing with some kind of illness different or the same as yours and they have a hard time treating you in the way they would want to be treated. They may compare things in a way as if saying you’re not going through as much as them or how they are dealing with the same thing but it’s so different.
They are not able to find the words for you that you need to hear. Sometimes they even end up making you feel worse.
When you go to someone to open up about your feelings and that person looks at you and only sees them self and turns it around to talk about themselves.
Some people feel if they have had to suffer and figure out on their own then you should do the same. They might say, “I didn’t have any help.”
Myself, I try my best to uplift someone who comes to me. They felt comfortable enough or maybe I was the only person for them to talk to and even if I can relate, I listen and I remind them of positive things despite how I feel. Helping someone else makes me feel better as a person. Makes me feel I am living in purpose.
When they are only looking at themselves, I’m looking through seeing much more.
What do you see?
Don’t be selfish, help motivate someone and encourage them. People who you love remind them why they are needed, why you love them. If they are lost help try to figure out what direction they need to go. All you have to do is listen and pay attention.
God has kept me here for a reason. I just want others to see what I see.
Bless whom is reading this.
Always remember that Jesus himself went through pain. He had been where you are and been through more pain than you could endure, ten times over. You Your never alone in this journey. I know it’s not easy and you want to give up but you must keep going. As long as you are waken up or maybe you never went to sleep, as long as you still have breath inside you; you must keep going. Your pain is not the end, your pain is an eye opener.
Like Paul some of us are reminded every day that we are in constant pain and some of us can find the positive outlook on it, while others see it has a curse/touture.
Mentally you must be strong, even when your body is weak, fore when the body is weak so can it trigger negative thoughts that cause you to fall right into all the discomforts in life.
You must Find Your Comfort in the pain. Don’t just live with it and accept it, you must continue to find the root of it all. Is your pain as is the thorn in Paul? Are you accepting it to better yourself? Or have you accepted that your life was meant to be full of pain?
Better yourself, your life, the smallest to the largest of things that need working on. This is the time to face truths that you’ve been lying to yourself about for years. What is God trying to change about you? Or in you/your life?
Find Your Comfort… if it’s in your pajamas, then you proudly wear them and don’t feel guilty or worry about what others think. You have to think of yourself now. You are the one enduring the pain, not them. True friends and family that truly love you, will be right by your side and won’t judge you. Anyone who looks down on you, is not for you. Keep people around that allow you to feel peace, happiness and tranquility.
Most importantly have people around you that motivate you to be a better you. Remember that you won’t see a difference unless you try. The pain may be there always, so if you’re going to hurt anyways, you might as well do what you enjoy. At least then you have a reason to why you’re in pain. Find Your Comfort.