May 13, 2014
It could just be my depression mixing with my anxiety that is making me feel this way, but I’m not sure.
I have truly learned how to be alone, I rather prefer it most of the time because I don’t have to deal with anyone but myself, I can have a plan and stick with not having to change it for anyone else. Anyways, lately my emotions have overwhelm me and I began to notice the loneliness surrounding me and it has been even more draining than ME/CFS.
See I don’t feel that I am anti-social or my depression keeps me from being around people, it just makes me very picky. There are only certain people in my life that I want to give my time too. I’ve spent my whole life trying to pretend that I had my life under control and I could get over all I was feeling, but when Fibromyalgia came into my life, it hit me like a bomb and has been ticking ever since. It’s like I’m always just about to explode by all the pain, sometimes I do and I don’t see it coming most times it’s random and don’t always feel warning signs. Now I’ve gotten a little better at knowing when a flare is about to happen.
And as you see I’ve gotten off topic as I do a lot, my brain doesn’t work that well anymore with all the foggiest of headaches and other symptoms. I’ve been not wanting to be alone lately, just knowing that my husband is at home somewhere makes me feel a little better. And I’m okay when he first leaves for work or something, but hours later it starts to get to me. I have no idea what’s going on with me, but it’s just another Fibro Day.