August 4, 2014
What Do You Do?
I dislike this question because I yet have figured out an answer.
What do people want to hear, I ask myself every time someone ask me what I do. I don’t have some special career to tell them about. I didn’t go to college, and the technical college I went to I did not finish, but still owe student loans.
I have worked nine different jobs, been a assistant manger, yet the fact that I’m not working now bothers other people. They don’t have to pay my bills and I’m not asking them for anything, but they have so much to say about my life of what I’m doing and not doing.
Many speak of me not having money to buy myself things or do what I want, but I am not materialistic.
excessively concerned with material possessions; money-oriented.
“we’re living in a highly materialistic society”
synonyms: consumerist, acquisitive, greedy.
Many have something to say about my reasons and they compare there body aches and pains to mine. They say they feel this and that but still have to do what they do. But they fail to realize I am doing what I need to do; for myself. I have a list of problems and all the money in the world isn’t going to solve them. Everything is a temporary fix, no matter what I do, it’s solely up to me to fight my battle the way I need to fight it.
Everyone has there own reasons and wants for what and why they do things. People work because there is no other choice, or they enjoy what they do, they love money, they have a family to support etc… My point is; I have another choice at the moment and I’m trying to feel better and not work myself into an early grave. We all have things we are good at, and working on someone’s else’s time has never been my forte. I march to the beat of my own drum.
Heart related illnesses runs strong in my family, I have high blood pressure and my anxiety I think makes my heart rate worse, I checked my BP last night and it was 166/118 pulse 94, this is on a every day mostly and sometimes can get higher. And along with Chronic fatigue and Fibromyalgia and all the symptoms that come along with that, I AM NOT BEING LAZY! I’m just trying to make it through to the next day.
I want to be able to be proud to answer the question by saying I’m a writer, but of course people then want to know what money have you made from it. ITS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY! I may not have a career job writing for a magazine or network or anything like that but I enjoy it, and believe its a gift God has given me.
To say I am a writer, but I don’t have a job; that makes me sad. But I can’t allow others opinions to worry me and stress me out. Just maybe I’m not the one with the flaw, they are.