We are WildFlowers

Posts tagged ‘@Walk2FightFibro’

Fight the Excuses 

Monday I started a new exercise routine that I felt would be easy enough for me to do and I could keep it up. Tuesday came and I was very sore, to the point I was walking like tin-man. I decided I would rest one day then get back to the next and keep this pattern going. 

All day Tuesday I was sore and felt like this was going to be a total failure again. While in bed sleep thinking about Wednesday, I was creating excuses in my head. All night through early morning, as I get in and out of bed to use the bathroom, I’m so sore and I just know I won’t be able to do any kind of workout. 

I’m thinking that just getting up out of bed is good enough. Walking around to get stuff done is good enough. I want to lie in bed and let my body not be sore anymore. Truth is though my body might never not be sore, I would be waiting forever. 

That point came when I was ready to get up and I made me some ice coffee, took some vitamins and I seemed to be walking a little easier, I was still feeling sore but I felt I could definitely move around. 

I put my sneakers on and played some music and got started. I did my exercise and I’m proud of myself for not giving in to my excuses. 

Extra Weight 

I don’t know if I’m the only one who has put on extra pounds since the symptoms of fibromyalgia kicked in. Over the past years I’ve tried, done my best to keep a workout routine and I always end up finding reasons to stop, other than the pain. I get really bored and of course not having someone to workout with, but not having someone with the same energy, attitude, and of course someone that I really like. 

To other people I may not look any different and I’ve never been a skinny or slim person but I see and feel the difference. It was not just the number on the scale that bothered me. Recently my knees have been bothering me to the point I sometimes feel they will give out on me. It started with my left, and sometimes it’s my right knee. The ache or pain catches me off guard and I have to catch myself as if my leg is giving out. My breathing has gotten heavier and I give out of breath easier. If that wasn’t enough. One morning I wake up and I see my stomach, I notice streach marks on my stomach! I have not had any babies so I should not have streach marks on my stomach. I knew I had gained weight but not to that point. At this point I’m telling myself the same thing I’ve always told myself, you have to do something about this. Having depression and anxiety both make it difficult to find motivation to do anything. Clothes have gotten tighter, everything is uncomfortable and I refuse to go up a size. I will get back to where I was and hopefully go down a size. 

Okay I’m rambling on, I’ll get to the point of this post. I came across this video on YouTube and the guy doing the video was a little comical which caught my attention, but also the fact it seemed easy enough. I told myself I would try it. 

When I woke this morning feeling like doing nothing. Throat seemed swollen and sore. I’m trying not to gag. I had my cup of coffee then endured brushing my teeth without gagging up a lung. Afterwards, I don’t know what came over me. I made the choice in my head that I was going to try this workout. So I did. 

Ok everyone I had the slowest moment in history, dumbest mistake. I get started with the workout. I open the clock app on my phone and set timer for 30 seconds but I do not look at the other columns and hit the start button and I begin to walk as fast as I can back and forth. I’m thinking to myself this is the longest 30 seconds ever, it shouldn’t be taking this long. I keep going and going. Finally the alarm sounds and I look down and I see why it took so long. It was set to 15 minutes and 30 seconds. I couldn’t believe I had did this to myself. My mind could not register that I needed to stop because it was wrong. I had a second or two when I knew something wasn’t right but my mind could not figure out why. That makes me sad and I feel like I’m losing the function to comprehend but on the positive side of things, I got a nice workout. I finished up the right way. I was to do the quick workout  four times but since I had added that 15 minutes to it, I figured I would say I had done enough for now. 

https://youtu.be/Zsr3LDkbM0M (here’s the link to the video) 

Find Your Comfort 

Always remember that Jesus himself went through pain. He had been where you are and been through more pain than you could endure, ten times over. You Your never alone in this journey. I know it’s not easy and you want to give up but you must keep going. As long as you are waken up or maybe you never went to sleep, as long as you still have breath inside you; you must keep going. Your pain is not the end, your pain is an eye opener. 

Like Paul some of us are reminded every day that we are in constant pain and some of us can find the positive outlook on it, while others see it has a curse/touture. 

Mentally you must be strong, even when your body is weak, fore when the body is weak so can it trigger negative thoughts that cause you to fall right into all the discomforts in life. 

You must Find Your Comfort in the pain. Don’t just live with it and accept it, you must continue to find the root of it all. Is your pain as is the thorn in Paul? Are you accepting it to better yourself? Or have you accepted that your life was meant to be full of pain? 

Better yourself, your life, the smallest to the largest of things that need working on. This is the time to face truths that you’ve been lying to yourself about for years. What is God trying to change about you? Or in you/your life? 

Find Your Comfort… if it’s in your pajamas, then you proudly wear them and don’t feel guilty or worry about what others think. You have to think of yourself now. You are the one enduring the pain, not them. True friends and family that truly love you, will be right by your side and won’t judge you. Anyone who looks down on you, is not for you. Keep people around that allow you to feel peace, happiness and tranquility. 

Most importantly have people around you that motivate you to be a better you. Remember that you won’t see a difference unless you try. The pain may be there always, so if you’re going to hurt anyways, you might as well do what you enjoy. At least then you have a reason to why you’re in pain. Find Your Comfort. 

Hours of Cramps/Spasms 

I had a wonderful day today. I exercised and got in all my “required” water. I felt proud of myself. But this happiness didn’t last, I decided I wanted to do something grown-up. (Bad idea) 

I felt the spasm start or cramp, I’m not sure which or if both are happening. All I know is that it’s painful. To move it hurt and when I’m able to get myself up, with every step I take the spasm gets worst. 

It’s been a few hours now I think, it feels it’s been a long time. The pain is in my stomach, vargina, butt areas. On top of that I have had, which when the gas comes it hurts when the air tries to release. 

Also with all the water I’ve drunk today, I’m having to go to the bathroom a lot, which sucks because it is very uncomfortable sitting on the toilet with cramps and spasms. The worst is when I left it’s over but it starts up again (off and on.) 

The pain is unexplainable… 


Challenge My Fibro Body : week 7

Challenge My Fibro Body : week 7

July 6, 2015
Spent my day with my husband and there were a lot of laughs, so the day went well.

July 7, 2015
“The tragedy of life is not death. It’s what you let die inside of you while you’re living. Is your youthful spirit still alive? Are you still fascinated by…anything and everything? May you be blessed to start each day fully alive in body, mind, and soul.”

When I saw this and read it( it really touched me. I feel like I start each day off “half-dead” because of all this pain.

I rode somewhere, and then back home to relax. I spent my day crocheting and doing the normal things I do.

July 8, 2015
Late last night my back became sore, then felt as if it was going to spasm luckily it didn’t but the pain increased. This morning it’s still sore and I feel like crap. It is week seven I been trying to get back on track by challenging my body, and right now my body is winning this battle. I have simply lost all motivation, but at least mentally I’m still somewhat hopeful and positive. My body just doesn’t want to play nice, and mentally I can’t seem to fight through to push myself to just workout. With other things on my mind and other things that I want to do, or need to do, have to get done and do. I get overwhelmed and I just hope that the moving around I do do is good enough and I know sometimes good enough, isn’t enough. I hope I can turn this back around soon. This is the true challenge of having chronic pain, you never know what your body is going to do and you have to fight it every day.

July 9, 2015
6:23am and I’m just now about to fall asleep.

“Throughout your whole life you have been bombarded with things that are wrong with you. Turn your attention around, and find out what’s right about you and what’s right about the present moment.”

July 10, 2015
“No matter how great your challenge, God is greater. May you be blessed to have a radical change in your life at the point of your need.”

“Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.”

Even though we may not be able to take the pain away, we may be able to change the amount of pain we’re in. (hopefully) it can be tough but we have to start now, because if we don’t the future may be worst.

#FightThePain #Walk2FightFibro #ChallengeMyFibroBody 

I want to day that I feel really hopeful today and I’m moving around with ease. And to all my readers who read my blog know that I’m honest and open with what I post. Honestly I was going to keep trying at this exercise journey, but I realize today that it’s a challenge for my body everyday I wake up, if I even been to sleep. I am not lazy and I do a lot around the house for the ones I love and that is exercise for me. I’m not getting rest like I should and exercising isn’t exciting for me, I guess because I’m doing it alone. It’s just days like today I’m good but I just don’t feel the need to go outside. I’m spending my day crocheting and that makes me happy, helps me relax. I feel stressed about working out, I feel stressed about what food I should eat, stressed about I’m not doing enough. I just want to sit back and reflect on this day and put my mind at ease. To the ones who are going strong and need to workout everyday, keep up the hard work. Just for me right now, I’m going to take one day at a time and stop worrying about my weight. I started this mostly because I want to get extra weight off, and I tried to change my mind set and tell myself that I was doing it just because it made me feel better. Truthfully I think I was doing it to show and prove to others. I really don’t know anymore how much I just do for me, and not to prove others wrong. I’m tired and if me don’t love me for who I am, then I don’t need them in my life. I’m done with complaining about how I look because this is me and I’m not going to give up. I’m going to continue on a healthy path, I’m just not going to let it get me overwhelmed. I just want to live my life. (Whatever Life That Is)

Challenge My Fibro Body

Challenge My Fibro Body : week 5 
June 22, 2015 
Starting yesterday my ankle began hurting, why? Well that’s the mystery question. Only answer I have is because of fibromyalgia. My problem is not really having what I need. I have a ace-bandage but I can’t seem to wrap it so that it gives me support where I need it. Even after wrapping it up, when I try and walk it still hurts if I put my weight on it the wrong way. This morning I still can’t walk straight, the wrong move hurts very badly. Going down the stairs, was not fun. The aching is also in my leg. And by all means I not trying to complain and moan about depressing stuff. But the fact of the matter is that this is my life, every day of my life. When I wake up, till I fall asleep (if I fall asleep) and starts all over again the next day. Today is one of those days where I feel, “if I’m moving around then I doing ok.” 
“At least I’m up moving around the house, and not just sitting or laying.” 
June 23, 2015 
Okay this is turning out to be more of a challenge than I expected. And the challenge is, I get bored of exercise really quick. I can do it just to do it, do when I feel like it. But to know I need to do it every day and that if I don’t, nothing with my body will change. It’s like I really don’t want to do it. Then when I do my body has a difference of opinion. I don’t have anyone to exercise with me and I think that holds me back a little. (I’m lonely) bit I’m also picker when it comes to spending time with people. I just wish I could get myself together. In my mind I do a lot and I feel I could be a “beast” at this exercise thing and “go hard” but I just can’t seem to get on that level. I sit and think back on how I used to look and how I used to feel and I don’t know how to get back there. Truth is I can’t, that’s in the past and I want to be better than before. 
June 24, 2015 
I stepped on the scale this morning and it was down a pound again, and that motivated me to exercise today. 
•Leslie Sansone-Walk Away The Pounds 3Mile 
I feel strong and great today, workout was awesome, I sweated a lot. This me today is the me I love, hope I stay around more often. 
June 25, 2015 
•1 mile walk 
I walked around just in time, it began to thunder, got the walk in before a storm started. 
June 26, 2015 
Was going to workout but ended up standing up for too long doing other things and by the time I started to really exercise, my legs were extreme tired. So guess today turned into somewhat of a rest day. 
June 27, 2015 
•Leslie Sansone-Walk Away The Pounds 1 Mile 
June 28, 2015 

Challenge My Fibro Body : week 2


June 1, 2015
•2.01 Miles Walk start time little after 8am (28mins)


June 2, 2015
Today I am torn between resting and pushing myself along. Last night as I tried to sleep my right leg bothered me and still as I woke this morning it aches badly, from my thigh all the way to my foot. Cramping in my foot and sore ankles. I’m very tired and emotional this morning, crying thinking about how tough things are for me and no one around me doesn’t think I have it hard. Everyone thinks I’m just being lazy and spoiled. I want to get this weight off of me so bad, in hopes that I will feel a lot better but I don’t want to end up becoming so depressed and stressed for it to happen. Truthfully I think that’s been the only times in my life I slimed down, is because I was very depressed. Barely eating if any, and sleeping a lot. That’s what I ended up doing and I don’t want to let that happen but days like this makes me feel like that may be the only way. While writing this just now I have began to have pain in my face/jaw. I guess I will rest today, going to do my best to find a peaceful/happy place in my mind to relax. (Wishful Thinking) Everyone thinks they know and can relate somehow but they have no idea. If you don’t have it, you will never understand it. All my life I thought I knew pain but the pain I’ve had from fibromyalgia for the last seven years, has been hell on earth and along with the other situations in life, marriage, family, friends, hardships all around. All I can think about is that I’m still here, what am I going to do. It’s one of those days…

June 3, 2015
Again today I’m off my routine that i had started because of the weather, and because of my monthly cycle approaching, my energy level is down and body aching everywhere. Today I cramped up, having muscle spasms like in my butt around my groan area. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that and having aching in my feet. Still I ended going out with my husband because he is under the weather. I kind of felt depressed and earlier in the day I felt frustrated, irritated, and annoyed.

June 4, 2015
Woke up this morning feeling drained and the heels of my feet are so sore and aching. It’s another rainy day and I have stuff to get done, but I so don’t want to go anywhere. I’m sad again today, trying to get my tears out before my husband returns.   I didn’t go anywhere after all. Took almost all day for the pain in my heel to stop. Today was a messed up day but hoping for a better tomorrow.

June 5, 2015
Again this morning I woke with the heel of my foot hurting. I tell you my motivation is all the way down. This is not going the way I wanted, but maybe the way I expected with my fibro body. 

June 6, 2015
I have woke up this morning with good intentions. Trying not to let things get me down, because those things are going to be with me very morning as I am on this path of exercising. I still didn’t do any exercising but was up moving and doing today.

June 7, 2015
Today I wake up to get ready to go to my niece high school graduation, I’m do happy, excited and proud of her, glad I get to go. But I have to be honest, I’m nervous also though because I’ve been cramping a lot these past days. I hope and pray my fibromyalgia let’s be get through the day without embarrassing me. 12pm-2pm is how long the ceremony is and I’m wearing heels, going down town, I hope I make it.
Of course I have a bowel movement this morning and it makes me cramp up do bad in my ass/stomach. This has been happening a lot lately. It hurts like hell, but I have to force myself through this pain today. My day ended on a good note but as soon as I got home I cramped up again after going to the bathroom. I don’t know why it keeps happening. Overall though I’m good.


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